How To Be Assertive

From the earliest days I remember, I always found joy in giving. I was the one who liked looking after babies, nursing the sick and making castles so the fairies wouldn't be homeless. I volunteered for the NSPCC and I empathised deeply with anyone and everyone I met, even though in this life I hadn't experienced what they'd been through, I replicated their feelings in mine without choosing to do so - it just happened. Whilst this was a nifty trick, it brought about problems.

In school I was easy pickings for those that way inclined. I gave away my belongings freely and I'd do anything to avoid a fight. Rather than making me angry, I was elevated that I'd been able to make someone else happy and I felt their happiness, the same way I picked up on every other emotion. How it made me feel never occurred to me.

At night I would pray for everyone I'd seen or heard about that day that needed help, including what I'd seen on the news. One of my guardian angels, Grace, would sit behind me, to my left side whilst I did this and I would sense her joy at being given work to do. It felt like a wonderful partnership we had going.

During my teenage years it got more complicated as people would push for what they wanted and I'd had little practice at saying "no". The only defence I felt I could form was a facade of being 'hard' and as if it didn't matter what happened to me. I could handle it. This was related to the fact I felt they wanted to hurt me, so I needed them to believe they couldn't. The truth is, they didn't want to hurt me, but instead just wanted what they wanted and that was it - no second thought for any consequences.

Once I became a mother my shyness and lack of assertiveness were too dangerous to keep. I knew I needed to start sticking up for myself and my baby and to be a good example too. I was so crippled by shyness and a feeling of inadequacy that even getting a bus would make me sick with nerves, as I'd have to ask for may fare in front of everyone and potentially have to speak to get off the bus. 

If someone spoke to me I would go crimson red and wouldn't answer at all! I actually lost jobs because of this.

Finally, now I'm older, I can see clearly that compassion doesn't mean giving up your needs and rights, to serve others. It's important to help each other out, but not at your own compromise.

Knowing your own boundaries, what matters to you and how far you're willing to go, is key.

I now give myself full permission to stand in my own power, to release the 'rescuer' role I've played for so long. Nothing feels better than being your own best friend.

Something else I've learnt is that being bolshy, loud or angry is actually aggressive, not assertive, as many confuse it to be.

Likewise, sulking, hinting and manipulating is passive aggressive, not assertive.

To be truly assertive we know and accept our limits, we respect everyone and we don't allow ourselves to get caught in drama. We voice this calmly and clearly with no regrets.

Forgiveness is a fundamental part of being assertive. Forgive others and move on without adding the caveat that you "won't forget". More important than that forgive yourself and only see life as a combination of experiences and lessons.

Don't forget that everyone you meet has come to you to teach you something about yourself. And yes, I do include the people you don't like in that.

The festive season is a time when boundaries get tested. Stay in your truth and don't let the fear of consequences or reactions stop you.

Have a fabulous fun and assertive break. I'll be back in the new year. 

Channelled Healing Songs And Poems During Reiki

It is true that reiki healing gives you what you need to heal your life on every level. Reiki is intelligent and it knows best what is helpful for the greater good and it goes ahead and gives this to you. Just another reason to have complete detachment from the outcome of the healing.

Sometimes this can be quite strange and I often now find myself being intuitively directed by it to do some funny things whilst healing. My neighbours, if they don't already, must think I'm crazy, as reiki gets me to do yogaesque poses, make strange sounds and place my hands in different positions to the traditional ones taught. I pull and push un-useful energy from my aura and help reiki on it's way through my system, usually looking like a scene from the exorcist as I do it. A normal day in this mad house.

More recently it has been focussed on healing my throat chakra, which is often blocked/off-balance. To do this it has decided that I must sing to make vibrations with my throat and this is the cruelest thing it could choose for me, as I really, really, am not a pretty singer!

During these healing sessions it has started to connect me more strongly to angelic energy and I've now been given two healing songs/poems channelled from Archangel Raphael. I plan to keep a log of these and have them published into a book, but for now I want to share them with all of you, as you'd imagine they are beautifully written by our angel friends.

The songs are probably personal to my own healing, but I know they will resonate with many others. I hope they provide healing comfort for you too.

With thanks to Archangel Raphael angel for the healing words and sounds provided.

For more, quotes, photos, stories and posts go to www.facebook.com/MeMySoulAndEye

What It's Like To Be A Twin

People often ask me "What's it like to be a twin?". I tell them it's awesome, which it is, but really, how do I know any different? It's like me asking them "What's it like to not be a twin?".

To some extent I can answer the question. There is nothing I won't do for my twin sister and I want her life to be as brilliant as you can imagine and I want this for always. I've no personal agendas with her, no need for anything in return and there's no competition. Note: this is only true now - you should have seen us when the latest Barbies came out, when we were kids!

For someone on a spiritual path this is rather handy, as ultimately, this is how Soul views us all (no separation). We all come from the same Source, everything we do sends ripples out to the world and has an affect on those around us. So, the aim is to realise this and to work together to raise the vibration, so we all experience a better way of living. The difficulty being that a false sense of duality and our Ego's often get in the way.

I'm not suggesting we all want horrid things to happen to others, but we must admit that we're often indifferent due to the fact that we're too bogged down in our own lives and goals, to help others, unless it's a matter of urgency.

So that's what it's like to be a twin and some of what can be learnt from it.

Now, let me tell you a funny story from Junior school: Me and my sister would swap on the stairs on the way to class and she'd go to my maths class and I'd go to her english class (she liked maths, I liked english). No-one spotted this. I've suffered for this very cunning error of judgement on our parts. Can I add up? Can I heck! That's not why I did so bad at my maths GCSE though, that's another story, for another time, or maybe not...!

In our younger years we were so connected to each other that during a rare fight, I hurt my sister and I felt the pain whilst she was pain-free. Served me right!

Me my twin and I, in a more amicable and pain-free moment

When I gave birth to my son, my sister had pains but managed to sleep, but she woke up at the exact time, that I actually gave birth, early in the morning, right down to the very minute. She just knew.

Over the years when something has upset my sister I've known without being near her or speaking to her. We are very tuned-in to what's happening in each others worlds.

As very small children we spoke to spirits, played with energy and our auras together. We even had our own language, which sadly, we don't remember much of, just that we had it.

In High School when we had to do a 'talk' to the class we did a joint one on what it's like to be a twin. We did an experiment where a member of the class wrote down a number and showed one of us it. The other twin guessed it. We got it right every time. To others this was pretty cool but to us this was normal.

Slightly more grown-up "us". I'll leave you to guess who is who...

The thing is, our greatest teachers are those around us. If you honestly think about someone you don't like and really examine what it is you don't like about them, you will find it is connected to something you either think about yourself or an issue about you, that you haven't dealt with yet. Try it on the quiet and if you're honest, you'll see what I mean. Conversely, if you think about something you admire in another, you'll find it is a quality you have developed quite well in yourself.

We are all mirrors, our souls reflect back at each other things we need to learn, to help us.

We are reflections of what is inside each other

Perhaps the greatest gift I've ever been given is the gift of being a twin and seeing our unity with others, first hand, from day one.

I'm so lucky to have another version of me, that is so obviously another version of me, to learn from. However, I mustn't forget that everyone is just another version of me, experiencing a different reality in the same place. This is true for all of us. Phew! That was a tongue-twister.

Have a bit of fun and think of a celebrity that gets on your nerves, get to the root of why and then compare it openly to yourself. See if you can find the lesson in there. I'm confident you will.

Let's celebrate those around us and what they can teach us, even if they are very irritating!

It goes without saying, this blog post is dedicated to my amazing twin sister, for the lessons she has taught me, for the bossiness that meant I got things done in the early years (when I otherwise wouldn't have), the endless support and love that never goes away and for doing my maths for me! Love you always and forever.

To all my brothers and sisters out there, have a fabulous day.  

Throwback Thursday

#ThrowbackThursday is a popular theme on social network sites such as Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Normally you tag an old photo of yourself and we all laugh at how silly you look. However, I thought I'd use it to have a think about how things used to be for me not that long ago.

This will be a short and sweet post about last year and my life then, as it was, working in an office. 

The office where I used to work

The way we used to be

Looking back got me thinking about the fantastic colleagues I used to work with and the camaraderie in the office. I wasn't being nostalgic. In fact I'm far happier and healthier now than I ever was back then: instead I was thinking about how well we all worked together toward a goal and what a shame it is that people will often do this in work, but not so often for the greater good of society. 

Back in the good 'ol days we had all worked together for years and years. We were once described as a "one-floor family", which is terribly cheesy but was true. The one-floor family won awards and attracted visitors from all over who wanted in on our 'secret' to success. We'd go through the rigmarole of showing them around and wowing them with our brilliant staff and ideas, but what we evaded to tell them was the real secret - that secret was unity. Unity. That simple. It's amazing what you can do when you drop personal agendas, refuse to pass judgement on another and simply work for the best outcome. 

We all had our strengths and we used these for the greater good of the office.

It might just have been because we were eternally under threat of redundancy or maybe we were the perfect mix of personalities, who knows and who cares? It worked. 

It ended on a high

Eventually the threat of redundancy became a reality and the one-floor family pulled together one last time to find everyone a new job. Normally, you'd expect competition here but it wasn't like that at all. People going for interviews for the same job freely offered tips, advice and support to what should have been their competitor. And you know what? It all worked out beautifully.

It occurs to me that if we can all learn to be more like this in our every day lives, the world would be a better place. 

That's just a thought for my throwbackthursday. 

In the new year I'll be looking for a temporary job and I hope to work with people as special as those I once worked with. 

If you're reading this and you used to work with me, I hate you really. :)

Me looking suitably ridiculous for a Throwback Thursday photo. This was our office fundraising day for Children in Need in 2008. I'm a ladybug, in case you can't tell. 

Past Lives: How the past is an illusion that can affect the future

Let me start by saying that I don't really believe in the past or the future. There is only ever what is happening here, now, in the present. How so? If you think about it, it's all about perception, our perception of what happened in the past is liable to change and therefore it is only ever the same in that present moment. As for the future, well, that hasn't happened until it happens and then that's no longer the future, but actually the present. See what I mean?

Time is a human Ego structure

Add to this that time is a very human Ego constraint, or structure, if you prefer. In the Spirit World there's no such thing as time. Can you imagine a soul with a watch?

This explains why spirits show up any time they like and often completely inconvenient times like the dead of the night, whilst you're in the bath, driving....they also can be heard/felt easier when this dimension goes quiet, but that's another topic for another time.

Why do spirits turn up at special occasions?

That's because your thoughts / intentions (energy) have drawn them there, not because they knew what date or time it was. It is comforting to think they wanted to see us get married, or whatever else we're doing at that time, though.

What is a past life?

At any one 'time' we are experiencing simultaneous multiple realities. Some say this is what causes deja vu, but I think it's actually one side of the brain processing faster than the other side, myself. 

Inside all of us within our energy imprint there's incredible wisdom from all the lessons of 'past' lives. If you knew someone who'd lived hundreds of different lives in many different realities, you'd trust them for advice, wouldn't you? Yet, we find it so hard to trust our intuition and we seek answers outside of us. This is perhaps one of the biggest growth areas, certainly for me and maybe for all?

However, if you flip it on its head and think about all the things that happen to us during these lives, maybe that's where the lack of trust comes from... a fear of how the lesson may present itself.

I wonder if we can put this fear aside and trust our intuition, maybe even tap into the Collective Consciousness for answers, what would our lives look like then?

A revelation about one of my past lives

All around my house are pictures of Geisha, books, screensavers, DVDs...as a child on visiting the World Garden Festival in Liverpool, I would run fastest to the oriental garden. I would be drawn to the oriental tea in the gift shop like other kids were drawn to Lego.

During a meditation class we were guided to access a past life and I was told that I was a Japanese prostitute and longed to be a Geisha, but I wasn't deemed good enough to join the Geisha elite. Contrary to popular belief Geisha are not prostitutes, girls who are not pretty or artistic enough to make it as a Geisha become prostitutes instead. Bingo! That's where my Geisha obsession comes from.

It even goes some way to explaining my karma see here for Blog post on karma and my inferiority complex see here for Blog post re Lower Self/Inferiority Complex

As it sunk in, I also realised that as a child in dance class I thought I wasn't as good as the other girls, despite the fact I wasn't 'bad' at it, at all. Could this 'past' life experience be the key to why? Who knows but it's certainly given me food for thought.

Celebrate life as it happens

Whenever possible celebrate all you have here and now, as this is all you have and who knows what will change in the next moment?

If you can train your thoughts (energy) to perceive everything to be as it should be, you'll find an acceptance that brings about peace like nothing else. I'm still working on it, but I hope to get there one day and I hope you do too.

I'd love to hear your past life stories, so please leave a comment to share yours. I'm always open to discussion and learning from others and welcome comments on the blog.

More like this:

Bereavement - Fighting Your Way Out of The Dark

Making Peace With The Past

Black Friday Free Oracle Card Reading

This free card reading was done with the intention that it will be right for you if you're drawn to read it, regardless of when you read it. 

The intention was set that the reading will be valid for you for one month from when you read it.

Current Issue

Card Drawn = Communication

You feel like you're not being heard, you're being misunderstood or wrongly judged by another. Your efforts are not being recognised. You may be suffering from a sore throat or ear problems at the moment - this is a physical manifestation of this problem.

Someone you once turned to when in need either is no longer around or isn't behaving as you'd normally expect. You feel a loss of control or connection with this person.

The angels want to remind you that although you feel you're not getting your point across or being appreciated, it is partially your own doing. You are not expressing yourself fully and something is holding you back from doing so. Once you recognise this fear and are honest with yourself, the honesty and openness needed with another, will flow and you will be heard.

Where someone is no longer in your life, rest assured the angels are listening and someone new is on their way to you very soon. You must be fully open and able to express yourself honestly in order to receive this person into your life. It may be a new friend, colleague, teacher, guardian or lover. This will all happen in perfect timing and exactly as it should, so please be patient and do not get distracted.

You may also feel as if someone has got under your skin more than usual. Ask for angel assistance in removing this negative connection. Archangel Zadkiel can use his Cosmic Flame to transmute the energy connecting you, or Archangel Michael can cut the cords that bind you to this unhelpful state.

Angelic Guidance for the Issue

Card Drawn = Playfulness

You feel overburdened with responsibilities, decisions and choices. You need to redress the balance and get some more fun in your life.

The angels remind you that you don't have to take every situation seriously and every word spoken to heart. The more fun you have, the more fun you will attract.

Try shining laughter onto the situation and you will find an amicable way to feel valued again.

Share the workload where possible, so you can bring more play into your life.

When you get time to let off steam make the most of it and make it worthwhile. Do this in your own unique way and don't allow others to hijack it or make you feel pressured to do things their way. How you have fun is your choice and if you don't honour this, you'll end up feeling worse. You must be genuinely true to yourself with this and don't follow the crowd. The angels are warning you that you could inadvertently make the situation worse if you try to fit in and don't follow what is truly in your heart.

May this reading bring you guidance and support for the next month, with love from your angels and Lou. xx

International Day for Eliminating Violence Against Women

Given that today is the International Day for Eliminating Violence Against Women, I thought it fitting that I blog about domestic violence from an insiders point of view. 

There are many stigmas attached to domestic violence, none of which are helpful to anyone involved. I'm not just thinking of this from the 'victims' point of view - can you imagine knowing you're sick and need help but not being able to ask because of what people would think of you? 

If you know or have ever known someone suffering violence in a relationship, you've more than likely wondered why they stay, why they don't do X,Y,Z to get away/get their own back...I'd like to spend some time relaying what it's like to be caught up in a unhealthy relationship and hopefully answer some of those 'whys' from my own point of view. 

Firstly, I want you to remember (if you don't already) what it's like to really love someone. The person you love has their 'faults' and you still love them, because true love is unconditional and accepting without judgement. Their 'faults' might be completely unacceptable to one person and totally worth it to you. It's no different just because the 'fault' is what might be classed as a big one. 

So what happens when someone sick loves you? To start with they will reel you in by being the most perfect partner anyone could wish for, this is because they themselves are usually incredibly insecure and they need the reassurance of your reaction to them. This will continue and you won't believe your luck (probably because you're insecure too. Like attracts like). One day this perfect person will say or do something unsettling - a good example would be "I don't like that top on you". You'll be hurt that Mr/Mrs perfect has broken the Guinness World Record For Charm, but because they're so perfect you'll think it's not very fair to question them and you don't want to ruin the perfection by causing a row over something so simple, right? Then it would be YOU at fault, wouldn't it?

As your relationship has been unrealistically perfect so far, the small comment or action will play on your mind more and you'll wonder if maybe you have put on weight? Colour doesn't suit you? You're dressing too young for your age? Self-doubt is creeping in.

Mr/Mrs Perfect doesn't want you to know how they really feel as it's a sick and twisted reality, so they'll make up for their angry comment/action by being even more perfect. Self-doubt will creep in further. You shouldn't really be worried by what they said/did, you're a bad person for not letting it go - I mean look how nice they're being now...and so the circle of self-doubt and drain on your confidence begins.

As time goes on it's harder for Mr/Mrs Perfect to keep the lid on the hurt and fear inside them and sooner or later they take some of it out on you. By this time they'll have made sure you don't have many friends around you - they're insecure and they need ALL of you to even feel slightly human, so friends and family had to be removed from your life (discreetly and for your own good, of course, they're just being protective, you see). You've been lacking confidence lately and your friends and family had turned out not to be as good as you first thought (Mr/Mrs Perfect had pointed this out to you a while ago). You've nowhere to turn and since Mr/Mrs Perfect are so perfect, it can only be your own fault that this has happened. You can't imagine life without the adrenaline rush and constant reassurance of Mr/Mrs Perfect. You decide to let this one go, it's a one-off and you know it won't happen again, besides you know you haven't quite been enough for Mr/Mrs Perfect lately and they need you. They're the only person in the world who needs you right now, your friends and family have left you.

Now the lid is off Mr/Mrs Perfect can't control it anymore, like a demon unleashed it rules them and in turn, it rules you. You know they wouldn't really want to hurt you and each time they make it up to you, you forgive them because you feel trapped and unable to move on from the place where love once lived. You're dying inside and you wonder why they do it, why you and why you can't go back to the good old days. You'd do anything to go back to the good old days....so you decide to find the strength to get back there. Instead of showing Mr/Mrs Perfect the door, you show them what it used to be like and they're insecurity is temporarily relieved, like a bittersweet reward for what they did to you. They don't want to be, but they are hooked on the cycle of hurt. After an extreme down, endorphins are released and this coupled with your efforts, unwittingly feeds the 'monster'.  

At the first sign of your efforts waning the insecurity and fear will grip them and they will lash out again and again. They play games they don't even know they're playing to see your reaction and feel attachment to everything you do. You'll think you're worthless, even your best efforts aren't enough now and you'll be too scared to fight and too tired to ever 'win' this war. The more they hurt you, the more you need the old them.

Think about when you've had a bad day or traumatic incident, who do you turn to for comfort? It's no different for the people trapped in these relationships. And so you can see how these things start so easily yet are so hard to end. You think you'd stand up to anyone and you think you'd never put up with it, but until someone you love with all your heart has done it to you, you can't honestly pass comment. Things happen all the time in relationships that we don't like, we compromise and they move on so fast we can't remember what it was we didn't like last week. These relationships are no different. In fact, you want it to move on fast, why would you want to stay in the abusive state when you could move on and forget it happened?

If you know someone trapped in an unhealthy relationship, try to understand and listen without judgement. As hard as it is try not to force them to leave, as it will only cause more problems unless they're truly at the point they can see it through. What they need is a friend with the same unconditional love that their relationship started off with, so they believe they have the unquivering support to leave and survive.

My earliest relationship was one like this - a never-ending circle of hurt and hope - sadly, my hope was never met, but luckily I found an ounce of strength locked inside me and I finally left for good. It was years ago, but it still haunts me at times and I have the scars to prove it. The scars don't define me as a person and the experience allowed me to feel such pain that there is little on this earth I can't empathise with, so I'm grateful for what it gave me.

For all those suffering or who have suffered violence from a loved one, my heart goes out to you. Just know that you are worthy of love in all its perfection.

If we really want to eliminate violence we need to remove the stigmas and stop blaming the victims for not sticking up for themselves.

Violence of any sort must be eliminated from the world so we can all live in love. 

The Day My Nana Passed Away

I have the sort of mother who is selfless enough to stand back and allow me to make my own judgements, be myself and make my own experiences to grow. This has always been the case. My nana on the other hand wanted me to be a certain way, look and act a certain way. Both were straight from the heart and for the highest intentions. I'm so blessed to still have my mum in my life and to have had my nana, especially with such different personalities to learn from.

I desperately wanted to be as glamorous as my nana that had a new outfit for every occasion, including shoes and bag - today's WAG's would fear her as major competition! My nana wanted me to be a model and I wanted to fulfil this too: parading up and down the front room, practicing my pout to her applause. However, at the ripe old age of 12, I chose to become vegetarian and my mother in her selfless way, let me. Show me a tall vegetarian! I'm far too short to be a model and I'm too short for my weight too. So sorry to disappoint, nana, but mum will be pleased that I made my own choice and stuck to it.

My nana was a strong and definite woman, the head of the family, as is the case in many a scouse family - what the head female says...goes! You don't mess with your scouse women and my nana was no exception. Her key phrase was "scratch her eyes out" referring to anyone who didn't play along with the agenda. This was a woman you would want on your side and I was so lucky that she was on mine. She had a warm heart and my best toys all came from her, those tacky dolls you get when abroad; frilly dresses from down the market that made me feel like one of the black and white movie stars she watched, Barbie, musical boxes…oh loads of tat, but the sort you love as a kid. She knew how to rock my world and she did it.

The sad thing was she was also seriously ill and disabled, not that you could tell, she had more fire in her than anyone I’ve ever and probably will ever know. In fact you could say her fire was her disability, no balance… all roaring fire. I loved this about her and wanted to be as extrovert as her and as willing to stand up for myself as her. In reality I was introvert and a door mat. Again, sorry, nana.

A lot of my time spent with her was in hospital and we never knew if this was the time she wouldn’t return home. She defied Doctors every time and would say “I’m not going (to die) until I want to”. One particular night she was very poorly in hospital and my parents had rushed to go and see her. My son was in bed and I was alone in my front room waiting for news. The room went freezing cold and I felt my nana float up past me, I had a terrible sense that something was amiss. The phone rang causing me to jump sky high; it was my grandad wanting to know where my mum was as she wasn’t answering her phone. I explained they were on their way to the hospital and sadly my grandad confirmed that they were too late, my nana had passed a moment ago.

That night I went to bed heartbroken as despite me moving away and certainly as a teenager not seeing as much of her as I would have wanted, she was such an inspiration and influence on me that I felt the loss through every part of my being. I curled up in a ball of pain and grief hoping the duvet would offer some comfort. It didn’t. Instead the freezing cold came again and I felt my nana climb onto the bed and hold me, she also told me to “stop being soft your mum needs you now!”. Wise words. Then she left and I continued my sorrow riddled state through the night.

At her funeral we were all asked to close our eyes and remember her – the good times, of course. I was sat next to my great aunty Rose (my nana’s sister) and I instinctively turned to look at her instead for comfort. She whispered would I like to be held by nana one last time and I nodded. Rose took me in her arms and brought my nana through to me, taking on her physical form. Rose wasn’t like my nana but it was my nana that hugged me, in shape, size and feel. I was reeling from the experience and full of questions about how I’d known my nana passed, how I felt my nana in my room and now this….

Rose later told me she was a psychic medium with her own circle and a spiritualist lending library. It was the start of me building my own knowledge and beliefs in spiritualism. Although, it is my Grandad who has taught me the most on the subject and to whom I give credit.

As Rose left, I hugged her one last time and she held my hands and told me my nana wanted me to have strength. As she touched my hand she said “take her strength, she wants you to have it” and “find your own evidence”. I felt my nana with me and indeed her incredible strength.

My nana now comes to me in times of need and guidance. This is most handy as I’m a giving person and will forgive anyone anything, but sometimes I do need to protect myself from people taking of advantage of this. I don’t believe anyone would knowingly take advantage, but some people just expect to get away with more with me because I’m kind. It’s those times that she shows up, full of fire and guides me or just gives me the push needed to stick to my boundaries.

With her support I am growing all the time and I hope to build more secure boundaries that allow me to be true to myself the way my mum wants me to, but not to allow people to only take from me, the way my nana wouldn’t want them to.

Whoever you’ve lost from your life there is a piece of them with you in your soul and consciousness and you can access them any time.

When the journey together on this planet ends, have faith that another day you’ll be re-united and may well start another journey together in another life.

This blog post is dedicated to my mum, my nana and all the strong empowered women in my life. To those who have gifted me experience, to those that have made me grow and to those that continue to be an inspiration and support to me. Thank you. 

More like this:

Me, My Grandad and I

We Live and We Learn

10 Lessons in Parenting that my Parents Taught Me

Bereavement - Fighting Your Way Out of The Dark

The Unravelling Of Ego To Reveal True Self

What does it mean to go on a spiritual path?

Maybe surprisingly, it's not about deities, beliefs, crystals or angels. It means taking the steps to know and understand the True You. The True You is very different to the You you're brought up to know. Years of brainwashing from peers will set you up with beliefs about your Self and life that simply aren't true. It's not about religion, it's about YOU.

For example, we're led to believe we have a soul (that's if you believe that at all). This simply isn't true, WE ARE souls - what we have is a body and mind to allow us to experience and grow here on this planet.

Mostly we let our Ego (Exaggerated sense of self-importance/what we think we are) rule our words, thoughts and actions and unless we become aware of this and get our Higher Self to take back control, it's hard to be truly spiritual.

It's helped me to put into a list what is Ego and what is Self. Although, making a list made me laugh, as that itself is an Ego thing to do! 

Here's the short list I made for personal reference:

Ego/Sense of Self MeMySoulAndEye.blogspot.co.uk	Soul/Spirit/True Self MeMySoulAndEye.blogspot.co.uk
Analytical	Understanding
Anger	Calm
Before/after (past/future)	Now/this moment
Believe	Know
Blocked	Creative
Cold	Empathetic
Comparative	United
Competing	Content
Conditional	Unconditional
Controlling	Surrendering
Cynic	Has faith
Deceitful	Honest
Defensive	Open
Different	Similar
Doing	Being
Excluding	Including
Fear	Love
Fitting in	Freedom
Forceful	Supportive
Following	Leading (by example)
Greed	Generosity
Guilt	Improvement
Head	Heart
Hinder	Help
Hoard	Give
Irresponsible/blaming	Responsible
Judging	Accepting
Jealous	Admiring
Knowledge	Wisdom
Label	Value (moral)
Lack	Gratitude
Lesson	Experience
Materialistic	Recognising abundance
Mean	Kind
Overbearing/bossy	Co-operative
Personal agenda	Oneness
Power hungry	Humble
Stuck	Growing
Think	Aware
Uncaring	Sympathetic
Unforgiving/resentful	Forgiving
Wanting	Thankful
MeMySoulAndEye.blogspot.co.uk	MeMySoulAndEye.blogspot.co.uk

When you honestly examine all that you've come to know about yourself with a view to getting back to the real you, it opens up many a 'can of worms'. It takes some degree of bravery to do this (I mean to really do it - I previously thought I had, but I hadn't come close!). Essentially, you face daily, all your fears and self doubts over and over again until you find what is useful and what isn't. It's like being born again, rocking what was your foundation for years and replacing it with something completely new. It's not about suffering, being depressed or consumed by this process - it's about having the courage to do it with integrity and no other agenda.

However, once you start this process what was once real, now becomes fake and it can be hard to know what to even talk about with the oldest of friends. It can be a lonely battle ground with your Shadow Self (the bits you hide because you don't like them), not that it has to be as there is a spiritual community brimming with like-minded souls for support.

You see, we are all on a spiritual path, it's just some are more aware of it than others, more willing to knowingly slay the demons.

This last week I have been feeling inferior to others. This is, of course, Egotistical (Lower Self). How can I be inferior when we all come from the same Source and just have different lessons to learn?

I know this and I'm desperately trying to get back to Source. It hasn't stopped me comparing my blog to others and finding it less popular, not as well laid out as others, wondering why I'm not able to do Reiki II yet (my relationship with reiki has been long ready, but my spiritual and business side isn't ready yet), why am I 37 years old and still living in a damp rented house? It is all my own responsibility and actually irrelevant stuff in the scheme of things, but it doesn't stop the hurt.

No-one said my chosen path would be easy and they were right. Still, it's my path and I'm going to continue to follow it, as I know it will lead me Home.

The revelations; realisations, pure truth and bliss that occasionally shines through are more than enough to tell me to keep on going, even in the darkest days.

Wherever you are on your chosen path, may it be beautiful, truth-filled and useful to you all. 

Remember, the Ego is not your enemy or 'bad', it can teach you a lot and without it, we wouldn't know our Soul.

Love and light from Lou and her very useful Ego. xx