The Unravelling Of Ego To Reveal True Self

What does it mean to go on a spiritual path?

Maybe surprisingly, it's not about deities, beliefs, crystals or angels. It means taking the steps to know and understand the True You. The True You is very different to the You you're brought up to know. Years of brainwashing from peers will set you up with beliefs about your Self and life that simply aren't true. It's not about religion, it's about YOU.

For example, we're led to believe we have a soul (that's if you believe that at all). This simply isn't true, WE ARE souls - what we have is a body and mind to allow us to experience and grow here on this planet.

Mostly we let our Ego (Exaggerated sense of self-importance/what we think we are) rule our words, thoughts and actions and unless we become aware of this and get our Higher Self to take back control, it's hard to be truly spiritual.

It's helped me to put into a list what is Ego and what is Self. Although, making a list made me laugh, as that itself is an Ego thing to do! 

Here's the short list I made for personal reference:

Ego/Sense of Self MeMySoulAndEye.blogspot.co.uk	Soul/Spirit/True Self MeMySoulAndEye.blogspot.co.uk
Analytical	Understanding
Anger	Calm
Before/after (past/future)	Now/this moment
Believe	Know
Blocked	Creative
Cold	Empathetic
Comparative	United
Competing	Content
Conditional	Unconditional
Controlling	Surrendering
Cynic	Has faith
Deceitful	Honest
Defensive	Open
Different	Similar
Doing	Being
Excluding	Including
Fear	Love
Fitting in	Freedom
Forceful	Supportive
Following	Leading (by example)
Greed	Generosity
Guilt	Improvement
Head	Heart
Hinder	Help
Hoard	Give
Irresponsible/blaming	Responsible
Judging	Accepting
Jealous	Admiring
Knowledge	Wisdom
Label	Value (moral)
Lack	Gratitude
Lesson	Experience
Materialistic	Recognising abundance
Mean	Kind
Overbearing/bossy	Co-operative
Personal agenda	Oneness
Power hungry	Humble
Stuck	Growing
Think	Aware
Uncaring	Sympathetic
Unforgiving/resentful	Forgiving
Wanting	Thankful
MeMySoulAndEye.blogspot.co.uk	MeMySoulAndEye.blogspot.co.uk

When you honestly examine all that you've come to know about yourself with a view to getting back to the real you, it opens up many a 'can of worms'. It takes some degree of bravery to do this (I mean to really do it - I previously thought I had, but I hadn't come close!). Essentially, you face daily, all your fears and self doubts over and over again until you find what is useful and what isn't. It's like being born again, rocking what was your foundation for years and replacing it with something completely new. It's not about suffering, being depressed or consumed by this process - it's about having the courage to do it with integrity and no other agenda.

However, once you start this process what was once real, now becomes fake and it can be hard to know what to even talk about with the oldest of friends. It can be a lonely battle ground with your Shadow Self (the bits you hide because you don't like them), not that it has to be as there is a spiritual community brimming with like-minded souls for support.

You see, we are all on a spiritual path, it's just some are more aware of it than others, more willing to knowingly slay the demons.

This last week I have been feeling inferior to others. This is, of course, Egotistical (Lower Self). How can I be inferior when we all come from the same Source and just have different lessons to learn?

I know this and I'm desperately trying to get back to Source. It hasn't stopped me comparing my blog to others and finding it less popular, not as well laid out as others, wondering why I'm not able to do Reiki II yet (my relationship with reiki has been long ready, but my spiritual and business side isn't ready yet), why am I 37 years old and still living in a damp rented house? It is all my own responsibility and actually irrelevant stuff in the scheme of things, but it doesn't stop the hurt.

No-one said my chosen path would be easy and they were right. Still, it's my path and I'm going to continue to follow it, as I know it will lead me Home.

The revelations; realisations, pure truth and bliss that occasionally shines through are more than enough to tell me to keep on going, even in the darkest days.

Wherever you are on your chosen path, may it be beautiful, truth-filled and useful to you all. 

Remember, the Ego is not your enemy or 'bad', it can teach you a lot and without it, we wouldn't know our Soul.

Love and light from Lou and her very useful Ego. xx

Keeping The Faith In Times Of Trouble

Ever felt like you were being tested? "These things were sent to 'try' us", that sort of thing?

During the past few weeks I have been 'tried' to about as much as I can take. I'm sure you've all had times like that? Maybe you're going through a time like that right now or know someone who is. I'm sending love out to any who are.

Want to know how it all started? Are you sitting comfortably? About 4 weeks ago, on a Friday, I was doing a reiki self-treatment when a very loud and clear message was received completely out of the blue. The message was..."Your cats mission here on earth is up. You got him to be a best friend to your son and now your son has a best friend at college." WHAT?! It was clear I was being forewarned to prepare for our cats departure. Devastated doesn't quite cover it. I sobbed and shook the whole way through the remainder of the treatment. My cat was perfectly healthy: I didn't understand the message.

The following Monday my cat was sick. I immediately took him to the vets. Even then everything seemed fine and the vet said the cat was incredibly healthy for a 16 year old, but his teeth need scraping and they'd want to do a 'dental'. It's normal practice to check older cats blood and urine before an op, so that's what happened.

Once the results were in, I was called but told I'd best go in for the results. By this time I was starting to fear (I know, I'm still battling that beast!) the worst.

I was told that our cat has renal failure and that they wouldn't want to do the op, as a result. All his issues were manageable so I was still hopeful he'd be OK.

Choose fear or faith

To try to put it into perspective, he is not 'just' a cat to us. He's the centre of our universe, everything in the house revolves around our love for him and has done for over 14 years. Rather like when someone has a new baby, but if that baby stayed a baby for all those years. Most people will understand this, but I know for some it will be incomprehensible to get so close to an animal.

 Our cat making himself comfy

 Our cat looking up at us with his big gold eyes

Our cat enjoying a good sleep and dream

There's something about people (or pets) passing over that I don't handle well at all. It's definitely something I need to work on. Strange really as I have regular conversations with one of my nanas that passed years ago. You'd think I'd handle it better than most, but for some reason...I don't!

So far we've had a few traumatic weeks of thinking todays the day he leaves, oh no it isn't, oh yes it is (not quite as pantomime as it sounds). Many of you will know the endless rollercoaster of emotions when someone is terminally ill.

Several other tests have been thrown in on the way, but I will not write about these. I've been on a low vibe so was bound to attract other nasty stuff in to my life too.

I got to breaking point, as our cat wouldn't eat and was seriously ill. I couldn't handle the upset any more and I was so angry about it all. It feels like this is part of my chosen path: a necessary lesson and so I took to my Asana (wool mat used for Shakti invoking meditation). I was too wound up to meditate. Instead I had what can only be described as a rant at Shakti, Shiva, reiki, angels and even the 'G' word (God). I wanted to know why, I needed help and I was giving up this stupid path anyway - everyone is leaving me, so why should I stay?

Archangel Metatron came to me and said he has another mission for my cat very soon and that he would look after him. Even this wasn't good enough for me. I felt guilty as I knew it would be hard for our cat too, but I was asking for support for me. I changed tack, I asked for healing for our cat and support to get him through.

I gave our cat regular reiki even though I knew it would help him leave his physical body. This taught me to trust reiki to do right by him and for me to surrender as the channel and reiki as the healer. I fully expected our cat to pass away soon, he deteriorated rapidly.

In the end the vet gave us 48 hours to get him well or bring him back into the surgery. I did another reiki and his condition worsened. It came to me to take him into the vets even though 12 hours, not 48, had passed. He was admitted as an emergency case and we all thought this was 'it'.

Our cat is now home and his kidney function is within normal range. The main issue is his teeth and if anti-biotics don't sort them, he will likely need that 'dental', but if he has it, he has a very good prognosis.

Things are not always as they seem

Essentially, I have learnt so much from this experience and although I haven't enjoyed it, I'm grateful for the lessons learnt:

* Surrender to reiki with complete detachment from the outcome. Reiki works in mysterious ways and in a funny way I think it was teaching me this.

* Ask for help when you need it i.e. before you die from a broken heart (don't expect anything less than drama from me!).

* In having the cat in cat hospital, we had 48 hours without him physically being here, we knew he was somewhere else but we couldn't see him. This was reiki giving us a trial run and proving we will survive when he passes, though it was very hard and I still dread the day.

* Sacrifice how I feel for the benefit of the person (or cat) who is really going through it i.e. we may be sad that someone is terminally ill, but it is not happening to us, it is happening to them.

* I should not panic at the first sign of something not going to my plan. The Universe is in charge of plans and is far better at it than me.

I've learnt lots more too but they're the key points. It's one none-stop learning-curve party in this house, let me tell you!

To anyone going through a 'rough patch', please try to have faith. God is on your side and even if you can't see a reason for what is going on, there will be one - it might just be a lesson for you, but remember only when the pupil is ready does the master appear.

  

Me My House And I

Hello and welcome to the new readers from Switzerland, it's lovely to have you join us all.

Me My House And I

At the tender age of eighteen I left home for Exeter to try and get away from the abuse and fear that resided in Preston. Not long after this I had my only child, after another disastrous relationship broke up following a scary episode in Exeter, which ended with my life being seriously threatened. Another story for another time...

I was lucky enough to have good family, my amazing uncle who rescued me from Exeter and my long-suffering immediate family who welcomed me back with open arms.  All I will say on this subject is - don't mess with scouse families!!!

Photo taken from FinePix

Once I had my baby it was time to start acting like an adult, something that had completely eluded me up until then. They say nothing prepares you for parenthood, well, I say nothing prepares you for life and when life 'happens' you have to embrace it and strive to always do your best no matter what the situation. 

My babys' father was AWOL (this is a blessing, but one of those you can't see at the time) but we were lucky enough to be offered a house by the local Housing Association and one that was on a private road, in a good area, so we were really grateful for that.

With next to no belongings and an understanding family I was able to go and look at the house straight away. I enlisted help to get it into shape before moving in.

I excitedly headed down the path and although I had been warned that the house was in disarray, I didn't care, as it was going to be our home and it represented a new start for us.

As soon as the front door opened I had the most terrible feeling that someone had been hurt and abused in there. I could barely step foot in the place. Domestic violence was thick in the air. You've heard the expression you could cut the air with a knife? Well, you could, yet no-one was there.

Everyone tried to reassure me that the house would clean up and a lick of paint would see it right. It looked so much better after we spent some time sorting it out - weeks actually, as it was in such a state - you wouldn't get away with putting a young family in a house like that these days. 

I was still ill at ease with the house and my baby wouldn't settle at all either. Perhaps he was picking up on my feelings or perhaps he was picking up on the house feeling.

Safe to say I've had nothing but trouble with this house, which I've never been able to move from. Every time I get close to a move (twice I've been let down at exchange of contracts when trying to move), something happens and there is no way that I can move. In addition, relationships, as you know from a previous post were abusive and broke down, so many issues with the building that can't be explained...The kitchen ceiling has collapsed twice with no reason known; we've had the smell of sewage/rot so bad that returns all the time, Environmental Health and Dyno-Rod have been. Experts have been under the house, cameras, dyes, you name it...no explanation and no cure!

One particular time following another freak repair, insurance was involved and the carpet fitter told me he knew two previous families who lived at the house and that they had been cursed whilst living here. He told me that now they've moved they have wonderful lives, but their lives were awful whilst living in this house. I forgot to thank him for his comforting words!

I do believe in taking responsibility for your own life and everything that happens, using The Laws Of Attraction to manifest good around you, but despite my incredibly positive ways, it's fair to say in this house we've been dogged by bad luck.

Enough was enough and I decided to enlist help, contacting a Space-Clearing expert in the area. For those that don't know, space-clearing is the art of clearing away negative energy and imprints in buildings that can cause bad luck/misfortune. This wonderful lady sensed the same as me without being told anything. She used Divining Rods (for dowsing) to source what is wrong and it turns out there's a male spirit (negative entity) plus lots of negative energy left-over from all the bad things that kept happening.

This wonderful lady is coming to do the space-clearing on Saturday and I will let you all know how it goes. I can't wait for the fresh start and the catalyst to moving on to pastures new.

To arrange for space-clearing of your home or business you can contact Jayne here:

http://www.complementary-healthcentre.co.uk/

These are the cards that I drew to advise how the space-clearing will go:

  This is the card for the past representing the need to take back power.

 This card is for the current and represents the need to connect with the Divine. It shows that there is a loved one who has passed who is watching over me. I know who the 'loved one' is as I have had experiences of them here in the house, which I will write about another time. I do not want them around.

 This represents the future and tells that the new space will be a great place for creating spiritual community and helping others, where previously there has been despair.

I'll finish by saying that during my lonelier years in this house, my spirit grew immensely. I was guided greatly by my grandad, who I have learnt so much from and continue to learn from to this day. He and his parents where Spiritualists (in fact my grandad used to be a healer) and it was in my darker days alone in this house that I started to learn about The Occult and to find "my own evidence". I will be posting soon about the Circle (Seance) that my Great Grandparents used to host at their home in Liverpool and the book my Grandad has given me featuring their channeled messages from Spirit. 

We need both good and bad in our lives to create balance and teach us lessons, but with so much 'bad' it is time now for me to embrace the 'good' to re-store balance. I still look forward to the lessons each day brings me. 

Written with gratitude to all those who helped get the house sorted one way or another and those who supported me through my darker days alone in the house. 

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The End of An Era