Part Three: Shaktipat Initiation - A Blessing And More

Our Tuesday came and we had a lovely stroll through the beautiful Avenham Park in Preston. I did my usual and took lots of photos on the way - if you get me near water, I will always photograph the reflection of the moon or sun on the water - I love it!

One for the road! Taken at the very beautiful Avenham Park, Preston

When we got there we took a seat and I can tell you that Swami Nardanand Ji has a very special air about him. He is so radiantly peaceful and content, a real Guru. We learnt how he left his village in India as a small boy to start on a spiritual path studying esoteric arts such as yoga and meditation. Have to say that if these two things can make you even half as content as him, I thought they would be worth studying. Of course, true happiness comes from within but we all need a helping hand sometimes, right?

There was a short talk by the equally radiant, Swami Jyoti Ma. We gathered from this talk that there was an effortless way to become as content as Guruji and that he could help you to this by giving a simple blessing to you. This blessing would transfer the mindset of the Guru to you, without you having to do, well, anything...too good to be true? It was worth a try.

Our Guru, His Grace, Swami Nardanand Ji

The blessing was to be given at a meditation retreat in Preston with his Grace present. It all sounded perfect and the timing was great too as it was the bank holiday weekend and I knew my partner would come along to meditate as well.

The retreat itself was relaxed and there were lots of wonderful people there from all walks of life. We were both exhausted from stomping in a field to electronic music that weekend and we only just made it to the retreat at 8.30 am. In fact, for a moment we questioned whether to go or not, we were that tired (we're getting old now for raving in fields!). However, the blessing was better than I expected as I wasn't expecting to feel anything. As soon as I sat down after the blessing, I felt hot energy in my solar plexus (central energy vortex) and such intense bliss, I was concerned I might vomit and I didn't want to disturb everyone as they meditated.

What I didn't know then was what it had kick-started in me and what would follow, which to describe as intense simply doesn't do it justice.

To begin with Shakti (Goddess/Mother Divine) and Shiva (God/The Destroyer) start to fast-track clean your karma from all your lives and purify you. Shiva destroys anything no longer necessary in your life such as material attachments, toxic relationships etc. This process is tough - kind of like spiritual boot camp! My life has flashed before my eyes in freeze frames at super speed; emotions come and go quickly; intense memories startle me then leave just as quick; my mind thinks differently as it takes on the mind of my Guru - the world and my reality as I knew it begin to falter as I stumble through everyday activities foiled by startling realisations and a new level of consciousness that's indescribable.  

Shakti and Shiva working in harmony

I've been ill, so ill, for over three weeks with flu like symptoms, migraines and an upset tummy, as Shakti ruthlessly purifies the whole of me. My throat chakra was blocked from years of keeping the secret of my abusive relationships and my attacks from the past, thankfully, Guruji astral planed to me during meditation and unblocked it for me. My mind didn't stop as The Ego struggled to regain control as my spirit rose. I can see things I could never see before, like our one-ness, I can't just feel it now - I can see it. 

Before Shaktipat, I started to think that life mirrored what was inside us, but now I notice it all the time, all the synchronicities - they're actually becoming predictable at times.

Then there is the bliss: for those of you who have dabbled with ecstasy, it's similar to the high and the rushes from that, only amplified and more loving - it somehow has a stronger hold of you, like a giant hug from the Goddess herself. It just comes on from nowhere. I think of it as a reward from the Goddess Shakti for the hard work put in to the spiritual detox and hardcore healing you must go through.

This is only the start of the journey as a Shaktipat Initiate the cleansing (spiritualising every atom) will continue and the raising of awareness will grow. Eventually, my seven main chakras will be balanced and the ascent of the energy up the middle of my spine will begin - kundalini (Divine spiritual energy) rising. It's vital I keep in touch with my Guru and fellow Shaktipat's for this to happen as it should. Without the proper guidance problems can occur and kundalini can also spontaneously rise in those that are ready for it to happen, which can be a frightening experience for them.

Well, The Ego always likes to know that something has happened/worked via strong experiences and I think my Ego must be happy as the past few weeks have been so hard with so many ups and downs since the initiation. It can't deny that 'something' has happened.

The energy has levelled out a lot now and I feel more human again, though this is partially down to the fact that I begged Shakti to slow down, as it really was all too much with the illness, nausea and constant healing. Thank you, for slowing down, Shakti!

I'm looking forward to seeing what else Shakti brings to me and to spending more time in meditation with my fellow Shaktipat Initiates.

Our wonderful Swami's do lots of charitable work and Guruji has set up an Ashram in India for deprived children to study and follow esoteric practice also. As well as this there is a medicine camp there, support for elderly women, shelter for the homeless and a spiritual hub and help centre. If you'd like to find out more or donate you can do here http://siddhaashram.net/services.htm

Have a happy Thursday and wonderful weekend, everyone. 

Part Two: The Shakti Sign

Following my reiki attunements I commenced self-treatments daily, this is all part of the process of preparing to do reiki on others. I always say "If you can't heal yourself fully, you can't heal others". Not strictly true, as it's the reiki that does the healing, but what I mean is if you put the work in to clearing out all your negativity and ridding yourself of your demons, you will be a better channel for reiki and also be able to guide people with their healing more, as you'll have experienced it first hand yourself.

I don't keep a journal of my self-treatments as such but I do make a note of any strong healing experiences or anything that comes up that I may want to explore at some point.

I've had some really profound earth-shattering experiences which I'll share another time. The experience I want to write about today is quite a simple one - understated even, but it has led me to the most unbelievable healing and enlightening process I think anyone could ever have.

One day during self-treatment I got the message "look for a sign", can't say who this message was off - it just popped into my head. Hmm...look for a sign? Where do you look for a sign? I know! It's bound to be in the clouds, isn't that where people see signs? I opened my eyes while continuing the treatment, scouring the skies for a 'sign'. I was certain it would be a cloud shaped like an angel. Nope. Nothing in the clouds. As I finished up my treatment I gave up and closed my eyes and the same Goddess from my first reiki attunement appeared lit up in bright blue and said "Shakti" to me. What does that even mean? I tried good old Google. I read a bit and gathered it was a female energy and part of a spiritual awakening called Kundalini Rising. It was quite fascinating actually and anyone interested in Esoteric matters would most likely feel the same. From the sound of it what happened to me at my reiki attunement was similar, my naivety to have thought that, makes me laugh now!

Angel shaped cloud in Sidmouth, Devon.

Due to my fascination I posted on a reiki forum about Kundalini Rising and nearly got my head bit off! Hysterical people telling me, near enough begging me, to stay away from this evil thing that causes people to go insane and is not for one so new to spiritual practice. Although it scared me, the rebel in me wasn't quite put off and something about it felt like it would be 'key' to my development as a reiki practitioner.  

That weekend I was shopping in TK Maxx and a Buddha style statuette caught my eye. It sat proud on the display and it felt like female energy. Impulse purchase ahoy! I decided to call it Lady Shakti in honour of my reiki practice and I queued at the till with it. When I got to the very end of the till, stood by the 'wait here' sign, a little boy ran over and shouted "look, daddy, it's a sign!" he pointed at the sign which was directly aligned to my statuette. Aha! There was my sign, but I didn't 'get' it and was actually disappointed if that was all the sign was - an ornament. I took Lady Shakti home and thought no more about it.

Lady Shakti and her shrine.

It was months later at the end of my meditation class that my teacher brought out a photo of a radiantly peaceful Guru, Swami Nardanand Ji, who was going to be visiting Preston and whom she said was a Shaktipat Master...oh! That word again. As it happened he was visiting on a Tuesday which is the day I get together with my good friend. We decided to go together to see him for something different to do and because he looked like an interesting chap.

It felt odd to me that the word Shakti had come up again and I kept thinking now is the time to explore this more. Though I was still clueless as to what it really meant. I will write more about this and what has happened since, which is beyond life changing and in reality defies words, but I'll do my best to find those words in my next post.

For now, have a great night and enjoy your weekend, everyone. 

For part three visit here: Part Three: Shaktipat Initiation - A Blessing And More

Part One: The Day I Met Azrael, The Angel Of Death.

Not long after I split up with my Fiance and while I was still feeling incredibly vulnerable, it was time for me to go for my Reiki 1 training and the first part of four attunements. This was a test for how much I wanted it, as to get there I needed to drive past what would have been our wedding venue. When you state an intention to The Universe you'll often find it throws up tests along the way...I managed to drive past it, but as I watched what would have been our venue dressers for the day, drive into the venue, I didn't manage not to cry.

By the time I reached my destination of Ulverston I was struggling to hold it together. I had no idea what to expect from the day and I was decidedly unsure that I was in any state to learn anything. I needn't have worried - if you pass the test for how much you want something, The Universe usually responds with a reward to keep you going.

In I went, determined, yet clueless as to why I was so determined - why was I doing this? I could drive back home and get a 'normal' job? I was greeted by Jane, my Reiki Master Teacher (RMT), who is beyond lovely and put me straight at ease with a tale similar to my own break-up. This was when I first started to truly understand and see that life mirrors you all the time. What you see in others is actually a reflection of what's inside you - even if you don't like what you see (if that's the case, use it to teach yourself / change something).  You see, we are all one, even if we hate to admit it. 

We drew cards to help us determine how the day would go. I picked 'healing sounds', 'sacred union' and 'sorrow'. This was interesting as I learnt that my RMT uses healing sounds, I felt I would have a sacred union that day but wasn't sure who or what with...I was right! Hmm...sorrow...I guessed I was grieving my relationship and even to some extent the excitement and emotional energy spent on planning our 'Big Day'.

For the attunement part I sat on a chair and closed my eyes fully relaxed from the deep meditation I'd been in. I can't say for definite what happened next, I can only tell you it was one of the strongest experiences of my life.

The feeling of the emotion of fear came over me, not our every day earth fear, no, something else, like a force. I've never felt fear like it and I doubt I ever will again (I bloody hope not, anyway!). I didn't know what I was frightened of - it was no one thing. I wanted it to stop, but it didn't...it carried on like it was being drawn out of me. I sobbed uncontrollably on my chair - like an infant in serious trouble at school. Sorrow descended on me and I felt it ricochet through my entire being. A cold, dark shadow came over me and a great angel with jet black intricate wings stood before me. The angel snatched fear from my left hand and sorrow from my right hand. In my mind I called out for angelic assistance as Azrael felt different to the other angels I knew. Chamuel came to my right and held me, Raphael was floating by my head, Uriel was on my left-hand side and Michael was in front of me, not to protect me but to comfort me, Zadkiel was behind me with his hand on my shoulder. 

Azrael, Angel of Death

My body was shaking so bad the chair I was on was knocking the floor, but I couldn't stop that or the pain that flowed out of me like a river floating away from me forever. I saw a Goddess rise up before me she said "Sha...something". I thought there was a good chance I may have sha...something myself and I tried to regain human semblance to check. 

At the last part of the attunement I heard Jane channel a message to me "remember what it was to be free?", "open your wings and soar", at this precise moment in time I felt the whole of my spine crack and wings burst out from my back, I could even feel the draft from them and everything.

Finally, I saw a rose stem with two snakes coiling round it. The stem led up from my base chakra (lower back energy vortex) and it fired all the way up my spine to my crown chakra (top of the head energy vortex) and burst open into a violet bloom. I realised the attunement was over and I had survived. Phew! Once I'd calmed down I felt on top of the world and freed from the grief I had arrived with.

So there you have it, the day I met Azrael, Angel of Death. I'm glad he didn't wink at me as legend says this is what he does before he snatches your soul from your body when you die. He is also the angel of transformation and I believe this is why he was at my attunement.

This was the start of my many beautiful life experiences with reiki. It's been a rollercoaster and this story leads into another of my Shaktipat Initiation, which I hope to tell you about next time. 

For part two visit here Part Two: The Shakti Sign

I had another three attunements after that first one. Each brought their own gifts. I still can't believe I went back for more. Brave or crazy? You decide!

Jane is a brilliant Reiki Master Teacher and if you'd like to become her pupil or have a treatment from her (highly recommended by me) then you can contact her here:

http://www.sacredspace-reiki.co.uk/reiki-courses.php

Fear - The Enemy Within

It's taken me until fairly recently to recognise that which holds me back. The Universe is full of infinite possibilities - I know this - I believe this, so what's stopping me from harnessing this? The same thing that stops so many others: fear. You see, fear is the stealth enemy within us, disguised as our caring friend "don't do that", "watch out", "that could be a bad idea", handing out protective warnings here and there, for our own good...or is it?

To put my level of fear into perspective, after years of being raped, my fear of it happening again was so intense that I wouldn't eat out at a cafe incase I needed the loo, I was frightened that someone might follow me and attack me. Ridiculous, right? Fear breeds fear.

Upon telling my talking therapist about this, I was told that fear is innate and helpful as it stops us from doing bad things such as putting our hand in the fire. So there I had it - a one-way ticket to Fearsville where I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted. Something inside me told me this was wrong and besides I didn't want to stay, I wanted to leave but I was totally lost as to how.

Along the way I had many diagnoses of anxiety and stress, but all they really are is fear manifesting physically. If you are suffering from any of these, please don't take this post as a reason not to follow your Drs. advice, but do use it to examine for yourself what is happening to you. If I'd only known back then that all I really needed to do to get better was to face fear eye-to-eye and watch it wither and die. Again, this is very personal to my journey so please continue to seek professional medical help if you need it.

There are but two true human emotions in this life - one is love (our natural state) and the other is fear (our learnt state). You can always trace your emotions back to one of these two. For example, suspicion, anger, blame can all be traced back to fear. While, trust, kindness and forgiveness can all be traced back to love.

To be truly happy we need to be in our natural state of love but the world around us wants us to be in a state of fear. Fear makes us follow rules, comply and buy stuff. Love makes us free, creative and we don't feel the need to fill our lives with material or superficial things. I prefer the natural state of love - call me a hippy - I don't care.

I'm currently fighting a hard battle with fear. One I'm going to win. I'm undoing years of belief systems and years of attracting more reasons to be fearful to me. Like all things, there is a balance to be struck. 

Like yin-yang, love and fear can co-exist, but really if you think about it, love is light and fear is dark, we know of the light because we can compare to the dark and vice-versa. However, let light in to a dark space and light takes over. Love can save the day!

To help in my battle with fear, I now trace all my emotions and actions back and if I'm not acting from love, I don't allow the action at all. I ask myself "what would love do here?" and that's what I do instead.

I wonder how many people could improve their lives every day using that simple method? I wonder how many depressed, anxious and stressed people are being held captive by fear? 

I'm getting out there, I'm living life fuller than ever and giving fear the cold shoulder. I hope one day that we can all do this, it would see the end to war and the world will live as one (as a great song-writer once wrote!). 

This post is dedicated to everyone who has lived in fear or is still living in fear for whatever reason. May it give you hope and a helping hand in our battle against the dark. 

Have a fabulous weekend full of love and free from fear, my lovely blog-readers!

Light piercing through the dark clouds.