My mini kitty was my best mate and gave love unconditionally, the way pets do. He was so soft he let me push him up and down our street in a pram. I now know that out of respect for the animal I shouldn't have done that, but at that age it was my way of showing him I loved him. He was my baby.
Despite what this photo looks like, Merlin was not harmed in the making of this photo. He fell asleep every night cuddled into me like that.
It was obvious to me that he could see the same ghosts and spirits in my room that I could. When they appeared he would turn to look at them and either purr his acceptance or swish his tail at them. It was our secret and my room became our den, which we spent hours and hours in together - inseparable.
A slightly older Merlin surveying his territory. This was taken at Whinfell Rd in West Derby, Liverpool, where our house was more haunted than the last one.
In later years I neglected Merlin. I had a boyfriend and knew that I'd be in trouble if I wasn't at his home at a set time each night. It's one of my biggest regrets that I allowed this to happen. Cats are adaptable and have a built-in survival instinct, so he moved on and easily became my parents' best-mate instead. Still, this shouldn't have happened and he deserved better from me. Guess I need to learn to forgive myself the way I easily forgive others.
Many years after Merlin passed and quite recent to now, a lovely friend of mine told me about some energy healing, similar to reiki: the healing was called 'M' Healing and the 'M' stood for Merlin. I was still very new to the concept of energy healing at this stage and wasn't even sure that I believed there was a new energy called 'Merlin'. I had the curiosity of a cat though because of the name.
My curiosity led me to look into it and I came across this website http://www.merlinhealing.com/Free-Distant-Group-Healing.html which told me all about it. Lets just say it did nothing to quash my curiosity.
'M' Healing logo used courtesy of Keith Mapson.
One Sunday I was a FIFA Widow, well I was actually quite a regular FIFA Widow at the time but...there was a chance to have free distant 'M' Healing, which is regularly advertised on the website and I decided to try it for myself.
I sat quietly at my PC and followed the instructions for how to receive this healing. Not expecting to feel anything, I was bowled over by the power of this energy. It had a kind of galactic spacey feel to it and I was rushing from the strength of it. It was very visual and I could see my grandparents who had passed reaching out their hands to me (well, my nana was, my 'big' grandparents were looking on bewildered!) About 30 minutes in, I could see a ghost in my minds eye, a person from my past who had sadly taken their own life. I didn't want to see them and I tried to shut them out, but I heard them say "It should be me...". I didn't understand. What should be them? Maybe they meant the healing? I knew they'd needed help on the Earth Plane. I wanted to send them healing (and away!) but I didn't know how.
The above photo is taken from the NASA website. I wonder if this is what Merlin looks like? It's what he feels like to me.
I got the message during another free 'M' Healing session to take photos out the window and I would see further evidence.
Is it a bird, is it a plane? There's a figure flying in-between the clouds. It looks like a bird here, but I promise you that it wasn't!
Dark cloud handing out pink orbs on a super sunny day.
Apart from that it was a pleasant experience and opened my eyes to question more about what there was in this Universe. I ran to tell my FIFA Fiance all about it. I got the usual look of you're crazy, but I love you and I'm going to humour you.
That same night I had a lucid dream that took me to the Spirit World. I know it was the Spirit World because I've been before and it has a different feel to this Plane and it's not the same as a dream.
A man came for me, I thought him to be a Spirit Guide, though I knew he wasn't mine. He was dressed in red and gold robes - a bit like someone from the Catholic Church would wear (must admit this did put me off him a bit!). It felt subdued and solemn, like a death but we weren't at a funeral. It was very serious and formal. I was taken to a church which looked a bit like my old childhood one.. We passed a glass cabinet where most of my married relatives photos were displayed with them in their couples. They too were dressed in red and gold on the photos and I knew the photos were their wedding days. The man guiding me looked pityingly at me and shook his head. I noticed mine and my Fiances picture wasn't in there. I assumed because we weren't married yet (this was around February and we were due to be married in August).
I was led ceremonial style to the altar and I was surrounded by Ascended Masters all wearing the same red and gold robes and I waited there for my Fiance. I believed we were to be married there. The message came from the Guide "It's not him you're going to marry". It was all so confusing. He told me "You know who it is, but they haven't turned up". I instantly knew it was my ex, who took his own life and who I saw at my house that day. Panic rose in me like a flame through a match. I tried to protest...the Guide held me there without touching me..."but I don't want to...I don't trust them", I said.
Running as fast as I could out the church, I found a block of flats. I climbed the outside of the flats, searching in every window for my ex. I had to explain this couldn't happen.
When I reached the 5th floor of these hideously dirty flats, my intuition told me this was his room. I climbed through the window and he appeared. It all came back to me... how much he hurt me, how much he manipulated me and how much I let him because of the overwhelming love I felt for him. He said "I'm sorry, I'm late". I heard my pathetic self forgive him (again! Grr!) and he told me "You will never love anyone the way you loved me." It devastated me. I knew I would never let anyone treat me as badly as he did and love them as unconditionally as I did him. A bit like my cat, Merlin, who loved me unconditionally, though I didn't deserve it.
The dream ended in joy as I realised we had met to forgive each other and say goodbye. The saddest thing was on the way out of the church when I checked the display cabinet and there still wasn't a photo of me and my Fiance.
A few months later me and my Fiance split up in an unrelated incident and our wedding was cancelled. No-one could have predicted it - except maybe, Merlin.
I can't tell you if the dream was a prediction, guidance from 'above', or just something I needed to get out of my system in order that I could heal. I can tell you that it was one of my most powerful healing experiences I've ever had.
It goes without saying that we must treasure what we've got whilst we've got it. Let the important people (or animals) in our lives know what they mean to us. I know as well as anyone that it can all change in the blink of an eye, leaving you with regrets.
Why not make it your mission this weekend to appreciate all that you have. I'm going to.
Have the best time, everyone and I'll be back to share more of my life with you all very soon.
Merlin doing his favourite past-time - sleeping.
Always the Bridesmaid Never the Bride
No comments:
Post a Comment