Money, Spirituality and the Art of Give and Take

I'm writing this quite cautiously today as I don't want to give the wrong impression and I also know that for many, money is a touchy subject fraught with personal beliefs and for a lot, a sense of attachment.

The reason that I'm writing is simple: I've noticed whilst running my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/MeMySoulAndEye) that both my page and other spiritual pages often do our work for free. To start with the page is ran for free. So, someone, somewhere, is giving up their time, usually to part with snippets of wisdom and hopefully to help others to be more spiritual, positive, facilitate healing or whatever the objective (those are mine). What you get in return is a lovely community of people whom you will have helped in one way or another. This is enough for me for now but I also know I can't keep up the working free forever.

Giving to others is one of my favourite things, but there has to be limits

As part of my page on FB, I often do free energy readings for the members. The reasons I do this are that it's fun, it gives me an opportunity to keep honing my skills and it provides guidance to those that might need it. However, more recently I am being bombarded with emails from strangers asking for a free reading. I just want to make a comparison here: let's just say I run an electricians page....can you imagine anyone ever emailing me to ask to fit a light fitting for them for free??? Why not? Why is it OK to ask me and other spiritual people to work for free, but not others? Genuine question. 

In part I think it is my own fault for sometimes giving my work away for free. If I've given the impression that my work is not of value, I'm truly sorry because it is of great value. 

From Templeofthegoddess.org

There must be give (female) and take (male) for balance

I'm going to share what you pay for with spiritual services/products (based on my experience), though it is not a comprehensive description. 

For about 18 years I started saving what little money I had, never going on holiday, rarely going on nights out, not smoking / drinking, not getting beauty treatments the sort of thing that most full-time workers can and do afford to do. I lived in a tiny un-furnished and un-decorated rotten damp house, though I badly wanted to move out.  When in work I pushed myself to my limit so that I would get a performance bonus and when I did, I never spent it. 

All this meant that when I lost my job about one year ago, I was in a position that I didn't need to go straight out and get another job. Instead, I chose to use my hard-earned cash and redundancy money on learning a new way of life and ultimately a career. That career is a spiritual one. I'm predominantly a healer, but I can also read energy and speak to other dimensions. 

We are all born with the ability to do those things. The difference is, I work day and night at perfecting them. Though this might seem fun and easy work to some, if it's done properly with real dedication, I can assure you, it is far from easy. I don't take breaks - I often don't get lunch, weekends are not down time and I don't stop because the clock says a certain time either. I have to pay for courses to further progress, tools and books to help with this....there is a lot of personal and monetary outlay needed. I don't get benefits as I'm not classed as seeking a job. I only have my savings and any money I make from my work. 

It's a brave person that goes on a true spiritual path, 

as you must face your darkness over and over again

Many days I'm so exhausted from giving healing and my spiritual practice, I can't do anything except sit vacantly on our couch, void of conversation. People will still ask me to send positive energy their way/pray for them/send healing/give reiki/reiki a problem for them/do a reading all for absolutely nothing in return. I honestly don't think it occurs to them that I might have my own 'stuff' going on... like a very ill dad, a mother-in-law hospitalised indefinitely, my cat and my grandad at the end of their lives, a bereavement, no income, a sick son having lots of tests, I'm sick myself and having tests...I could go on...

It's not just the spiritual workers who get this either, I've noticed artists suffer too...photographers expected to display work for nothing, musicians expected to play for free (for "exposure"), makeup artists told they'll be given lunch (that's all), tattoo apprentices to work for the experience (no pay). At what point did people become so unwilling to pay for talent just because they perceive it to be a natural talent? Where has good old fashioned give and take gone?  

A very wise lady said to me recently that it isn't reflective of the value of the work, it is reflective of the persons self esteem. So, people won't pay because they don't think that they themselves are worth it. Perhaps that is true and perhaps, as everything we see outside of us is a reflection of what is inside of us, there is a lesson there. 

I best stop worrying about money and book that hairdressing appointment, which I've needed for 8 months but not been able to afford. As a certain well known brand would say "I'm worth it". Note: I haven't emailed my hairdresser to ask for a freebie!

On another page on FB I saw someone saying they don't pay because they can't afford to. I do understand this (very well) but what they forgot to think about was whether or not the person doing the work could afford not to charge. It's my experience that healers and artists etc don't earn much at all.

Ultimately, being spiritual shouldn't mean going without, yes, we shouldn't be attached to material things such as money, but we can have money and still be spiritual. After all, the more money we have, the more people we can help, the better we can become and the more things we can offer for free.

Of course we could continue helping everyone out for free and wait for the Laws of Attraction to pay us back three or ten fold. Is that fair though? A proper exchange of energy is surely fairer? If you genuinely want something but can't afford it, make an offer or do something else in return. It doesn't all have to be about money. 

As I'm quite an insecure person, the money side of the work I do, does worry me. I genuinely can't carry on without an income much longer and I do wonder if I'll ever make a living from healing. It is my life purpose to facilitate healing in a number of ways and I don't want to forsake that. I completely understand that if something is offered for free, people will take it for free, after all everything seems to cost these days. All I'd really like is that when people can afford it or if they don't really need it, they don't take advantage of the kindness of spiritual people (or any other people).

I genuinely don't mind people emailing and asking for help with things. I think it's a compliment that my light shines so bright I attract people and they know they can turn to me for help. Should you be one of those people, please don't feel you can't ask me for help, I just ask that in return you consider what you could offer me. A fair exchange. There is only so much of me to go round. 

If you've followed my blog a while now you'll know I take responsibility for everything that happens in my life. I include being asked to work for free in this. It is 100% my responsibility, but this is me signalling to the universe - it isn't happening anymore. If you think I'd be able to help you, great, but I won't do it for nothing and nor should I.

Fear - The Enemy Within

It's taken me until fairly recently to recognise that which holds me back. The Universe is full of infinite possibilities - I know this - I believe this, so what's stopping me from harnessing this? The same thing that stops so many others: fear. You see, fear is the stealth enemy within us, disguised as our caring friend "don't do that", "watch out", "that could be a bad idea", handing out protective warnings here and there, for our own good...or is it?

To put my level of fear into perspective, after years of being raped, my fear of it happening again was so intense that I wouldn't eat out at a cafe incase I needed the loo, I was frightened that someone might follow me and attack me. Ridiculous, right? Fear breeds fear.

Upon telling my talking therapist about this, I was told that fear is innate and helpful as it stops us from doing bad things such as putting our hand in the fire. So there I had it - a one-way ticket to Fearsville where I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted. Something inside me told me this was wrong and besides I didn't want to stay, I wanted to leave but I was totally lost as to how.

Along the way I had many diagnoses of anxiety and stress, but all they really are is fear manifesting physically. If you are suffering from any of these, please don't take this post as a reason not to follow your Drs. advice, but do use it to examine for yourself what is happening to you. If I'd only known back then that all I really needed to do to get better was to face fear eye-to-eye and watch it wither and die. Again, this is very personal to my journey so please continue to seek professional medical help if you need it.

There are but two true human emotions in this life - one is love (our natural state) and the other is fear (our learnt state). You can always trace your emotions back to one of these two. For example, suspicion, anger, blame can all be traced back to fear. While, trust, kindness and forgiveness can all be traced back to love.

To be truly happy we need to be in our natural state of love but the world around us wants us to be in a state of fear. Fear makes us follow rules, comply and buy stuff. Love makes us free, creative and we don't feel the need to fill our lives with material or superficial things. I prefer the natural state of love - call me a hippy - I don't care.

I'm currently fighting a hard battle with fear. One I'm going to win. I'm undoing years of belief systems and years of attracting more reasons to be fearful to me. Like all things, there is a balance to be struck. 

Like yin-yang, love and fear can co-exist, but really if you think about it, love is light and fear is dark, we know of the light because we can compare to the dark and vice-versa. However, let light in to a dark space and light takes over. Love can save the day!

To help in my battle with fear, I now trace all my emotions and actions back and if I'm not acting from love, I don't allow the action at all. I ask myself "what would love do here?" and that's what I do instead.

I wonder how many people could improve their lives every day using that simple method? I wonder how many depressed, anxious and stressed people are being held captive by fear? 

I'm getting out there, I'm living life fuller than ever and giving fear the cold shoulder. I hope one day that we can all do this, it would see the end to war and the world will live as one (as a great song-writer once wrote!). 

This post is dedicated to everyone who has lived in fear or is still living in fear for whatever reason. May it give you hope and a helping hand in our battle against the dark. 

Have a fabulous weekend full of love and free from fear, my lovely blog-readers!

Light piercing through the dark clouds.

Me My House And I

Hello and welcome to the new readers from Switzerland, it's lovely to have you join us all.

Me My House And I

At the tender age of eighteen I left home for Exeter to try and get away from the abuse and fear that resided in Preston. Not long after this I had my only child, after another disastrous relationship broke up following a scary episode in Exeter, which ended with my life being seriously threatened. Another story for another time...

I was lucky enough to have good family, my amazing uncle who rescued me from Exeter and my long-suffering immediate family who welcomed me back with open arms.  All I will say on this subject is - don't mess with scouse families!!!

Photo taken from FinePix

Once I had my baby it was time to start acting like an adult, something that had completely eluded me up until then. They say nothing prepares you for parenthood, well, I say nothing prepares you for life and when life 'happens' you have to embrace it and strive to always do your best no matter what the situation. 

My babys' father was AWOL (this is a blessing, but one of those you can't see at the time) but we were lucky enough to be offered a house by the local Housing Association and one that was on a private road, in a good area, so we were really grateful for that.

With next to no belongings and an understanding family I was able to go and look at the house straight away. I enlisted help to get it into shape before moving in.

I excitedly headed down the path and although I had been warned that the house was in disarray, I didn't care, as it was going to be our home and it represented a new start for us.

As soon as the front door opened I had the most terrible feeling that someone had been hurt and abused in there. I could barely step foot in the place. Domestic violence was thick in the air. You've heard the expression you could cut the air with a knife? Well, you could, yet no-one was there.

Everyone tried to reassure me that the house would clean up and a lick of paint would see it right. It looked so much better after we spent some time sorting it out - weeks actually, as it was in such a state - you wouldn't get away with putting a young family in a house like that these days. 

I was still ill at ease with the house and my baby wouldn't settle at all either. Perhaps he was picking up on my feelings or perhaps he was picking up on the house feeling.

Safe to say I've had nothing but trouble with this house, which I've never been able to move from. Every time I get close to a move (twice I've been let down at exchange of contracts when trying to move), something happens and there is no way that I can move. In addition, relationships, as you know from a previous post were abusive and broke down, so many issues with the building that can't be explained...The kitchen ceiling has collapsed twice with no reason known; we've had the smell of sewage/rot so bad that returns all the time, Environmental Health and Dyno-Rod have been. Experts have been under the house, cameras, dyes, you name it...no explanation and no cure!

One particular time following another freak repair, insurance was involved and the carpet fitter told me he knew two previous families who lived at the house and that they had been cursed whilst living here. He told me that now they've moved they have wonderful lives, but their lives were awful whilst living in this house. I forgot to thank him for his comforting words!

I do believe in taking responsibility for your own life and everything that happens, using The Laws Of Attraction to manifest good around you, but despite my incredibly positive ways, it's fair to say in this house we've been dogged by bad luck.

Enough was enough and I decided to enlist help, contacting a Space-Clearing expert in the area. For those that don't know, space-clearing is the art of clearing away negative energy and imprints in buildings that can cause bad luck/misfortune. This wonderful lady sensed the same as me without being told anything. She used Divining Rods (for dowsing) to source what is wrong and it turns out there's a male spirit (negative entity) plus lots of negative energy left-over from all the bad things that kept happening.

This wonderful lady is coming to do the space-clearing on Saturday and I will let you all know how it goes. I can't wait for the fresh start and the catalyst to moving on to pastures new.

To arrange for space-clearing of your home or business you can contact Jayne here:

http://www.complementary-healthcentre.co.uk/

These are the cards that I drew to advise how the space-clearing will go:

  This is the card for the past representing the need to take back power.

 This card is for the current and represents the need to connect with the Divine. It shows that there is a loved one who has passed who is watching over me. I know who the 'loved one' is as I have had experiences of them here in the house, which I will write about another time. I do not want them around.

 This represents the future and tells that the new space will be a great place for creating spiritual community and helping others, where previously there has been despair.

I'll finish by saying that during my lonelier years in this house, my spirit grew immensely. I was guided greatly by my grandad, who I have learnt so much from and continue to learn from to this day. He and his parents where Spiritualists (in fact my grandad used to be a healer) and it was in my darker days alone in this house that I started to learn about The Occult and to find "my own evidence". I will be posting soon about the Circle (Seance) that my Great Grandparents used to host at their home in Liverpool and the book my Grandad has given me featuring their channeled messages from Spirit. 

We need both good and bad in our lives to create balance and teach us lessons, but with so much 'bad' it is time now for me to embrace the 'good' to re-store balance. I still look forward to the lessons each day brings me. 

Written with gratitude to all those who helped get the house sorted one way or another and those who supported me through my darker days alone in the house. 

More like this:

Moving House is One of the Most Stressful Things in Life?

The End of An Era