Fear - The Enemy Within

It's taken me until fairly recently to recognise that which holds me back. The Universe is full of infinite possibilities - I know this - I believe this, so what's stopping me from harnessing this? The same thing that stops so many others: fear. You see, fear is the stealth enemy within us, disguised as our caring friend "don't do that", "watch out", "that could be a bad idea", handing out protective warnings here and there, for our own good...or is it?

To put my level of fear into perspective, after years of being raped, my fear of it happening again was so intense that I wouldn't eat out at a cafe incase I needed the loo, I was frightened that someone might follow me and attack me. Ridiculous, right? Fear breeds fear.

Upon telling my talking therapist about this, I was told that fear is innate and helpful as it stops us from doing bad things such as putting our hand in the fire. So there I had it - a one-way ticket to Fearsville where I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted. Something inside me told me this was wrong and besides I didn't want to stay, I wanted to leave but I was totally lost as to how.

Along the way I had many diagnoses of anxiety and stress, but all they really are is fear manifesting physically. If you are suffering from any of these, please don't take this post as a reason not to follow your Drs. advice, but do use it to examine for yourself what is happening to you. If I'd only known back then that all I really needed to do to get better was to face fear eye-to-eye and watch it wither and die. Again, this is very personal to my journey so please continue to seek professional medical help if you need it.

There are but two true human emotions in this life - one is love (our natural state) and the other is fear (our learnt state). You can always trace your emotions back to one of these two. For example, suspicion, anger, blame can all be traced back to fear. While, trust, kindness and forgiveness can all be traced back to love.

To be truly happy we need to be in our natural state of love but the world around us wants us to be in a state of fear. Fear makes us follow rules, comply and buy stuff. Love makes us free, creative and we don't feel the need to fill our lives with material or superficial things. I prefer the natural state of love - call me a hippy - I don't care.

I'm currently fighting a hard battle with fear. One I'm going to win. I'm undoing years of belief systems and years of attracting more reasons to be fearful to me. Like all things, there is a balance to be struck. 

Like yin-yang, love and fear can co-exist, but really if you think about it, love is light and fear is dark, we know of the light because we can compare to the dark and vice-versa. However, let light in to a dark space and light takes over. Love can save the day!

To help in my battle with fear, I now trace all my emotions and actions back and if I'm not acting from love, I don't allow the action at all. I ask myself "what would love do here?" and that's what I do instead.

I wonder how many people could improve their lives every day using that simple method? I wonder how many depressed, anxious and stressed people are being held captive by fear? 

I'm getting out there, I'm living life fuller than ever and giving fear the cold shoulder. I hope one day that we can all do this, it would see the end to war and the world will live as one (as a great song-writer once wrote!). 

This post is dedicated to everyone who has lived in fear or is still living in fear for whatever reason. May it give you hope and a helping hand in our battle against the dark. 

Have a fabulous weekend full of love and free from fear, my lovely blog-readers!

Light piercing through the dark clouds.

Part One: My First Ever Angel Miracle

It had been a tough few weeks, well, years really... where I'd attracted nothing but trouble and strife to my life. If you've ever experienced times like this you'll know it can easily become a 'spiral', a 'vicious circle' and that the Laws Of Attraction send the misery it causes you straight back at you down the energy lines of life, making it harder and harder to climb out of that hole.

This particular week I'd had another freak repair at home along with a battle to get it fixed, appointments with my son, my son was suffering at school and I in turn was suffering at school!. Autumn had arrived slightly early harshly signifying the beginning of the end, for us this meant the clinic and school appointments were harder to get to as I didn't drive back then, plus I had lost of time to make up at work but a lack of childcare options available.

One night things had reached a head and my child had been sad about school at bedtime, amplifying my own feelings of despair and hurt. These feelings peaked as I sat on the edge of my bed, finally alone and able to let the hurt out. I sobbed my heart out and wished I had someone special to hold me and help take the pain away. Even someone to go to just one of the appointments so I could make some time up at work, or to mind my son so he wasn't constantly juggled between childcarers. This felt like an impossibility, I closed my eyes and the warm flow of tears began again. I recognised it was fear holding me back (it always is with everyone and everything).  

When  I calmed down and opened my eyes, something caught my eye. It was an angel prayer book, sticking out from under the bed. I kept it there as it had been given to me by a lovely friend years before and I had no use for it. I didn't pray, I wasn't religious and I didn't really believe in angels.    

However, as it had caught my eye I was drawn to it, tentatively, I picked the book up, sighed at myself for what I was doing and opened the book up.

It opened on a page for Archangel Chamuel and the Angels of Love. I scanned the page and saw that they can help with relationships. Feeling pretty daft I searched for the prayer and sobbed as I begged them to help me and my son with our lives. I asked for help to remove my fear and to find me someone, a life partner that I would marry. I explained I didn't want any more hurt and I no longer wanted to shut love out.

Nothing happened. For weeks I kept my eye out for this special delivery from the angels. No knight in shining armour called round randomly. Fancy that. What a let down. I felt stupid for asking for their help. Then one night whilst sat quietly it came to me from nowhere and for no reason - as I'd all but given up hope... the man I'd meet would be called Tony and from Liverpool. Ugh. I didn't even like the name Tony and I no longer lived in Liverpool. 

In part two I will share with you the day I met 'Tony' and how my life changed for the better. Forever. 

To find out what happened next go to Part Two here

No matter what your situation, how bad things are, there is always a light shining in you, waiting to help you and that light is angelic light. They're on 24 hour call - so use them!

Help is always on the horizon

Below is a basic starter chart for how to ask for angelic assistance, whether you believe in them or not. Better still just ask them simply and in your own way and you will be amazed at what happens. If you know someone who could do with some help...you know who to call...The A Team! Please share this blog post with them to help them.

ANGELS

How to pray to angels…

Which Angel to pray to:

Archangel	Ask them for…	Light / colour for visualisation	Fiat/Decree ( repeat in multiples of 3)
Michael And the angels of protection	Freedom from fear and self- doubt, strengthening of faith, perfecting your soul, protection from physical and spiritual dangers, exorcism of demons	Blue	Archangel Michael, help me, help me, help me!
Jophiel and the angels of illumination	Wisdom, illumination, understanding, inspiration, knowledge, clear seeing, help passing tests, absorbing information, freedom from addictions	Yellow	Angels bright from starry height, charge my being and mind with light
Chamuel and the angels of love	Love, compassion, mercy, creativity, forgiveness, dissolution of feelings of selfishness/self-dislike/self-condemnation/low self-esteem, finding lost items	Pink	In the name of god, I am that I am, in the name of Archangel Chamuel: be gone forces of anti-love
Gabriel and the angels of guidance	Revelation of your life plan and purpose, dissolution of discouragement, joy, happiness and fulfilment, help in establishing discipline and order in your life, organisation of your environment, home purchases, new directions, new careers	White
Raphael and the angels of healing	Wholeness, vision, spiritual sight, inspiration of truth, healing of body, mind and soul, inspiration for the study of music, physical needs such as food and shelter	Green	I am the resurrection and the life of my perfect health now made manifest
Uriel and the angels of peace	Inner peace, tranquillity, untangling of knots of anger and fear in your psyche, hope, peaceful resolution of personal, social and relationship problems, nurturing creativity	Purple flecked with Ruby	Archangel Uriel, make me an instrument of god’s peace
Zadkiel and the angels of joy	Soul freedom, happiness, joy, forgiveness, justice, mercy, dissolution of painful memories and negative traits, tolerance, diplomacy	Violet	I am the living flame of cosmic freedom

 A good starter prayer:

NOTE: ALWAYS start with “In the name of the I am that I am…”

In the name of the I am that I am I pray to the seven Archangels and their legions of light and I pray to beloved Archangel ….and the angels of….and I ask that you……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I thank you and I ask that it be done this hour according to the will of god.

Top tips:

·       You must be very specific e.g. asking Zadkiel to make you happy will not work as it is not specific enough – He could make you happy for a millisecond in 50 year’s time…..instead try asking to be a naturally happy person all the time starting today and never ending from then on.  Give reasons why and examples; define what happy means to you.

·       Expect to be surprised. Angels deliver what you want in weird and wonderful ways; so you could be run over, have a near death experience that makes you realise life is worth living and therefore…be happy! Another reason to carefully plan what you ask for and be specific!

·       Once you’ve asked, don’t ask again as this is confusing and will bring mixed, if any, results. Believe what you’ve asked for will come and wait for it to happen – you will see results.

·        Angels will not do anything that would be bad for your soul, so if you are not meant to be a millionaire, there is no point asking, as you won’t get it. Likewise, you would hopefully never ask for anything bad to happen to anyone as that would be disrespectful to angels and would not be carried out as it would be against gods’ will.

·       Use visualisation to imagine what receiving your prayer would look and feel like. Picture a light the same colour (as the angels you’ve prayed to) surrounding your image and use when you pray.

·       Don’t expect to not have to do any of the work! You may receive an idea to help solve something, you might meet someone who can offer help, you might have to change how you go about something…it will not necessarily be handed over to you without you having to have some faith and follow your gut instincts or do some of the work. Be grateful no matter how your prayer is answered – you asked for it and if you think about it, if you gave a gift and someone turned their nose up, you wouldn’t give to them again, would you?

·       To have your prayers heard you should work on your karma, like attracts like, so don’t expect angels to want to be near you if you only have bad thoughts or do bad things. The better your karma from your positive thoughts and actions, the louder you sound to angels.

·       To help draw the right angels to you use the fiat/decree and say it in multiples of three.

If you don’t believe…then start with something small and realistic and watch it happen, then build up to bigger things.

It helps to be calm, quiet and focussed when praying but is not absolutely necessary.

The more you pray the better you will get at it and the more you will ‘tune-in’ and receive inspiration to fulfil your prayer.

Love and light xx

There's No Place Like Home

Over my lifetime I have lived in many different places. It is true that the home is where the heart is, but only if the home has the right people living there. Our family is our first experience of unconditional love and giving, for most it is a source of comfort and reassuring acceptance. Though it has to be said that for others it can be a scary place and one of fear, doubt and abuse. We are not all blessed to have our heart in our home. We are not even all blessed with a home.

We all know that feeling we have, that connection with a special place, but it does not have to be our house, apartment, bungalow…whatever... Lots of people return on holiday to the same place over and again and this is where their heart is, even if only a tiny bit of it.

My earliest memory of home was in Castleview Road, West Derby in Liverpool. This was also my favourite home and you could say there is still a bit of my heart there. I was lucky enough to have my own room and the big room at the back, at that. It was in that room that my first ever spirit encounters occurred.

Every night I would lie in bed peeking out from the safety of my quilt at what looked to be a soldier, maybe of Roman origin. He had a leather pleated skirt, a sword and a shield. He never spoke to me, he just stood still and watched me. He was fierce and serious yet he brought me such peace and comfort that I would just stare back at him. He had a kind of sheen to him and he wasn't fully materialised like you and I. I never understood why he was there or why no-one ever mentioned him, but as he did me no harm, I also never thought to talk about him with others. It kind of felt like a very special secret.

At the age of about four or five, I remember sitting in a part of the room near to where this soldier would stand and sensing other people there. I knew that they weren't here or in our world, but from somewhere else. As I felt elevated by their presence, I would take in all the parts of my room and sense which had ‘good’ ones and which had ‘bad’ ones in it. I would see splashes of bright light around everything and the lights would often change colour. I used to call these “the luminous bones” as it looked like peoples’ and objects’ structures lit up on the outside edge of them. I now believe this to have been auras (the energy field around people and things), but I can no longer see them (since doing reiki this has started to return but very slowly). People would tell me not to be silly whenever I talked about the "luminous bones" and I quickly learnt that it was not something good.

I spent many an hour talking to these presences, telling them about my day and I would feel but not hear their responses.

There were a few occasions that I would feel scared by the ghosts and I told my parents whose response was “There’s no such thing as ghosts”, trying to reassure me, as any parent would. Eventually, two older girls who used to play with me told me it was the shadows of the curtains. I thought they must be right and tried to blank my spirit friends from my mind.

The day came when it was time to move house and I said goodbye to my friends and that sense of calm forever. I will tell you all about my next home and the experiences there in another post, so keep checking back for more.

What I will finish by saying is that anyone can communicate with spirit, it is not a gift as it’s so often referred to, but something we all have. We lose the ability due to a lack of acceptance. The very same acceptance that places your heart firmly at home. It is such a shame that there isn't more acceptance and less fear for this kind of thing. The key is in nurturing our youth and accepting them as they are.

Where is your home and where is your heart? Do you accept and give love truly unconditionally?

P.S. I was telling a very special and dear friend about my Roman soldier the other day and it turns out she too saw this ghost as a child. She did live in the next village (Croxteth) so maybe he was a lost soul doing the rounds?