Fear - The Enemy Within

It's taken me until fairly recently to recognise that which holds me back. The Universe is full of infinite possibilities - I know this - I believe this, so what's stopping me from harnessing this? The same thing that stops so many others: fear. You see, fear is the stealth enemy within us, disguised as our caring friend "don't do that", "watch out", "that could be a bad idea", handing out protective warnings here and there, for our own good...or is it?

To put my level of fear into perspective, after years of being raped, my fear of it happening again was so intense that I wouldn't eat out at a cafe incase I needed the loo, I was frightened that someone might follow me and attack me. Ridiculous, right? Fear breeds fear.

Upon telling my talking therapist about this, I was told that fear is innate and helpful as it stops us from doing bad things such as putting our hand in the fire. So there I had it - a one-way ticket to Fearsville where I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted. Something inside me told me this was wrong and besides I didn't want to stay, I wanted to leave but I was totally lost as to how.

Along the way I had many diagnoses of anxiety and stress, but all they really are is fear manifesting physically. If you are suffering from any of these, please don't take this post as a reason not to follow your Drs. advice, but do use it to examine for yourself what is happening to you. If I'd only known back then that all I really needed to do to get better was to face fear eye-to-eye and watch it wither and die. Again, this is very personal to my journey so please continue to seek professional medical help if you need it.

There are but two true human emotions in this life - one is love (our natural state) and the other is fear (our learnt state). You can always trace your emotions back to one of these two. For example, suspicion, anger, blame can all be traced back to fear. While, trust, kindness and forgiveness can all be traced back to love.

To be truly happy we need to be in our natural state of love but the world around us wants us to be in a state of fear. Fear makes us follow rules, comply and buy stuff. Love makes us free, creative and we don't feel the need to fill our lives with material or superficial things. I prefer the natural state of love - call me a hippy - I don't care.

I'm currently fighting a hard battle with fear. One I'm going to win. I'm undoing years of belief systems and years of attracting more reasons to be fearful to me. Like all things, there is a balance to be struck. 

Like yin-yang, love and fear can co-exist, but really if you think about it, love is light and fear is dark, we know of the light because we can compare to the dark and vice-versa. However, let light in to a dark space and light takes over. Love can save the day!

To help in my battle with fear, I now trace all my emotions and actions back and if I'm not acting from love, I don't allow the action at all. I ask myself "what would love do here?" and that's what I do instead.

I wonder how many people could improve their lives every day using that simple method? I wonder how many depressed, anxious and stressed people are being held captive by fear? 

I'm getting out there, I'm living life fuller than ever and giving fear the cold shoulder. I hope one day that we can all do this, it would see the end to war and the world will live as one (as a great song-writer once wrote!). 

This post is dedicated to everyone who has lived in fear or is still living in fear for whatever reason. May it give you hope and a helping hand in our battle against the dark. 

Have a fabulous weekend full of love and free from fear, my lovely blog-readers!

Light piercing through the dark clouds.

What Goes Around Comes Around On The Karmic Wheel Of Justice

The blog is now one month old and I want to say a big "thank you" to its global readers. With close to one thousand hits, I'm blown away by the popularity of it and the encouraging comments from you, the readers. Thank you all so much. Please do share it with people if you think they'd enjoy it.

Hands up if you've ever said any of these phrases or similar "bad karma will get them", "what goes around, comes around - they'll get what they deserve", "I don't need to get revenge, karmic justice will do it for me". Now, hands up if you properly understand karma and the phrases quoted here? For the record, my hand was up the first time and was firmly down the second. I'd like to add that I haven't used any of those phrases for many, many years. I no longer feel the need to hurt others just because they hurt me. I feel blessed because I haven't felt the need since I was about fifteen (although I was very defensive at fourteen - like a Yorkshire Terrier, all bark, no bite). Why don't I say it anymore?

First off, I don't consider it my place to decide who deserves what. Nor do I believe that karma works how we'd like it to when we're in a spiteful state of mind. Too many of us want it to be a vehicle of revenge or a defence mechanism for our own personal use. If you think about it, if karma means that hurting someone else leads to you being hurt back, why are you wishing harm on another? Surely by wishing harm on another "bad karma will get you" too?

What goes around comes around on the fairground of life.

Forgiveness is so much more empowering than revenge or watching another get hurt just because they hurt us. Yet we choose to ignore it so often. We assume that getting karma to do our 'dirty work' will be easier and somehow diminishes us of our responsibility.

It's my understanding that karma is viewed differently according to different belief systems. As usual, my beliefs are a mixture of many belief systems, not that I profess to know anything about karma. How could I? It is after all a force that is at work, not a person running around dishing out punishment on our behalf.

However, what I do believe in is Cause and Effect, The Laws Of Attraction and that whatever you do will come back on you threefold. Our thoughts, actions and words all contain energy and that energy creates our reality. It is therefore our own responsibility for what happens to us. It has nothing to do with us what someone else has done or what happens to them next. If you plant a tomato plant seed, you can only get a tomato plant. You are responsible entirely for your own results.

I know this can be hard to believe when gripped by hurt, but by letting go of that hurt and doing something positive and sincere (The Universe knows when you're faking it!) for the person who hurt you, I promise you that you'll feel empowered. If you can't do that, do what your mum told you "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". So this is me getting all mumsy on you "if you can't do anything nice, do nothing at all", or better still - try harder. If someone does something that hurts or upsets me, no matter what it was, I send them loving thoughts and wish that they get help with whatever issue caused them to behave in such a way.

                                       

A tree can only blow in the direction of the wind.

Stand proud no matter how much you hurt. Choose to be different and only give out love.                           

In some religions they believe karma is carried with you through your many lives, in meditation class we accessed our karmic records and I made a surprising discovery about one of my past lives. It made perfect sense and helped me understand this life. I will share it with you all one day. Ooh, so much to share with you all, it's really exciting!

We all know 'good' people who have 'bad' things happen to them, right? Somewhere down the line they are transmitting negative energy and receiving it back into their lives. Also, who are we to decide who or what is 'good' and what is 'bad'? Surely there is just whatever is happening at that time and that's it. If we're all responsible for our actions, there is no 'good' or 'bad' , just what we've brought about. Food for thought.

Have a fantastic weekend everyone and remember any negative thoughts, actions and words you put out there are your responsibility and harm you most of all.

An Introduction To The Weird And Wonderful Life Of Louise.

No matter how young or old we are in this life, at some point, something will have happened that we can’t explain, perhaps that shook us, or made us question, maybe the meaning, purpose or if there is more to life than the simplicity that first meets the eye.

I, myself, have had many of these moments. Starting from a young age, as young as I can remember, I had a sense that I had knowledge of life before this one. It’s hard to explain the way I felt, it was just as if nothing was a new experience – things that excited others were missing the joy and excited expectation from me -  some might describe this as depression, but I felt deep joy at others things and I wouldn't personally describe it as depressed. I also knew things would happen before they did, including people dying. I was a very sensitive and some would say difficult child (my mum would say that!). I picked up on others emotions and feelings, even if I had never felt the same emotion before. As a child this can be quite frightening, especially as some of the things I felt were very adult emotions. Little did I know that I would carry this fear forward into my adult years, learning coping techniques and shutting down the light that shone within me, so I could “fit in” better. Through my childhood I often stood back and watched others play as I felt overwhelmed by the reams of information I received in each situation. I also felt a close infinity with people and beings that I could see but others didn't seem to be able to, I felt protected and at peace with them and chaos when I was with other humans. As you can imagine this made friendships very hard to form and though people thought I was ‘nice’, if they were honest, they also thought I was ‘weird’, let’s face it – I was both!

Over the years it became harder to supress this and things kept happening to force the issue more and more, building like a crescendo within me. A bit like a box with things in it you don’t want others to see, but the lid doesn’t quite fit properly, so every now and again, people get a peep, so you squeeze the lid back on again, only to find it fits less and less, until you can’t keep the lid on anymore. I will write more about these experiences as I share what I now refer to as “my evidence”. The reason I call it that is because my Great Aunty, Rose Haigh, who is a Spiritualist, once told me “find your own evidence” and at the time as a young woman, I wondered what on earth she was talking about.  Over the past six months in particular, I have discovered what she was talking about, on an epic scale and this blog is to share with those interested, what that evidence is.

There are many people, including Great Aunty Rose (and she is a great aunty!), who deserve a blog post all of their own and I will write about these people later.

I accept fully that it is just my own evidence and that it will resonate with some and not at all with others. I’m totally accepting of this and I’m open to questions, debate even, although, I will say that as I’ve experienced it for myself, you will find it hard to question. The same way I wouldn’t be able to question someone else’s life experiences.

To give you a taster of some of the topics I will be covering; the blog will be about the practice of reiki and how it has profoundly changed my life for the better. I will be covering my experience of The Universe, the Laws Of Attraction, the places I have been and the realisations I have made through meditation, Shamanic Journeying and connections with Angels, Guides and Ascended Masters, my spiritual awakening and journey, the people who have inspired me, including those who have come into my life for that purpose then left again. I will also write about the spirits I have seen and the energy healing work I have done so far and plan to further. I can only promise to write from the heart and see where it leads us.

I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts, feelings and own life experiences, so please do leave comments and any questions that you may have.

I’d like to offer up thanks to those that helped and guided me to start and write this blog. I have immense gratitude for your love and support, as always.

Thanks for reading and please come back for more.

I’d like to finish by adding that if you are my friend or even if you are an acquaintance, I know these subjects may be all too uncomfortable for some. A wise lady called Jayne Darkes once told me that announcing you are going on a spiritual journey is like a snake shedding the skin it no longer needs. It is painful but necessary to leave some of you behind in order that you can be beautiful and function again. How true. For those that can’t stay, I wish you all the love in the world for your own journey.

Lots of my photos feature pink orbs from behind the sun. I will post some more over the coming months. This signifies to me the end of one path and the search for another in my life, with the sun shining down to represent the happiness that awaits.