This Post Is Brought To You By The Letter 'M'

One of my favourite all time memories is of being aged about 7 or 8, I was taken to get a mini kitty: this is a kitten to all you normal people out there. It's true that mini kitty's choose you...a little jet black runt of litter chose me that day. I called him Merlin, can't say that I particularly liked Camelot or Arthur - I hadn't even read the story - I just felt a strong connection to this Wizard. What child wouldn't? He fixed un-fixable things with magic, there's no denying, that's pretty cool.

My mini kitty was my best mate and gave love unconditionally, the way pets do. He was so soft he let me push him up and down our street in a pram. I now know that out of respect for the animal I shouldn't have done that, but at that age it was my way of showing him I loved him. He was my baby.

Despite what this photo looks like, Merlin was not harmed in the making of this photo. He fell asleep every night cuddled into me like that. 

It was obvious to me that he could see the same ghosts and spirits in my room that I could. When they appeared he would turn to look at them and either purr his acceptance or swish his tail at them. It was our secret and my room became our den, which we spent hours and hours in together - inseparable.

A slightly older Merlin surveying his territory. This was taken at Whinfell Rd in West Derby, Liverpool, where our house was more haunted than the last one.

In later years I neglected Merlin. I had a boyfriend and knew that I'd be in trouble if I wasn't at his home at a set time each night. It's one of my biggest regrets that I allowed this to happen. Cats are adaptable and have a built-in survival instinct, so he moved on and easily became my parents' best-mate instead. Still, this shouldn't have happened and he deserved better from me. Guess I need to learn to forgive myself the way I easily forgive others.

Many years after Merlin passed and quite recent to now, a lovely friend of mine told me about some energy healing, similar to reiki: the healing was called 'M' Healing and the 'M' stood for Merlin. I was still very new to the concept of energy healing at this stage and wasn't even sure that I believed there was a new energy called 'Merlin'. I had the curiosity of a cat though because of the name.

My curiosity led me to look into it and I came across this website http://www.merlinhealing.com/Free-Distant-Group-Healing.html which told me all about it. Lets just say it did nothing to quash my curiosity.

'M' Healing logo used courtesy of Keith Mapson.

One Sunday I was a FIFA Widow, well I was actually quite a regular FIFA Widow at the time but...there was a chance to have free distant 'M' Healing, which is regularly advertised on  the website and I decided to try it for myself.

I sat quietly at my PC and followed the instructions for how to receive this healing. Not expecting to feel anything, I was bowled over by the power of this energy. It had a kind of galactic spacey feel to it and I was rushing from the strength of it. It was very visual and I could see my grandparents who had passed reaching out their hands to me (well, my nana was, my 'big' grandparents were looking on bewildered!) About 30 minutes in, I could see a ghost in my minds eye, a person from my past who had sadly taken their own life. I didn't want to see them and I tried to shut them out, but I heard them say "It should be me...". I didn't understand. What should be them? Maybe they meant the healing? I knew they'd needed help on the Earth Plane. I wanted to send them healing (and away!) but I didn't know how.

The above photo is taken from the NASA website. I wonder if this is what Merlin looks like? It's what he feels like to me.

I got the message during another free 'M' Healing session to take photos out the window and I would see further evidence. 

 Is it a bird, is it a plane? There's a figure flying in-between the clouds. It looks like a bird here, but I promise you that it wasn't!

Dark cloud handing out pink orbs on a super sunny day.

Apart from that it was a pleasant experience and opened my eyes to question more about what there was in this Universe. I ran to tell my FIFA Fiance all about it. I got the usual look of you're crazy, but I love you and I'm going to humour you.

That same night I had a lucid dream that took me to the Spirit World. I know it was the Spirit World because I've been before and it has a different feel to this Plane and it's not the same as a dream. 

A man came for me, I thought him to be a Spirit Guide, though I knew he wasn't mine. He was dressed in red and gold robes - a bit like someone from the Catholic Church would wear (must admit this did put me off him a bit!). It felt subdued and solemn, like a death but we weren't at a funeral. It was very serious and formal. I was taken to a church which looked a bit like my old childhood one.. We passed a glass cabinet where most of my married relatives photos were displayed with them in their couples. They too were dressed in red and gold on the photos and I knew the photos were their wedding days. The man guiding me looked pityingly at me and shook his head. I noticed mine and my Fiances picture wasn't in there. I assumed because we weren't married yet (this was around February and we were due to be married in August).

I was led ceremonial style to the altar and I was surrounded by Ascended Masters all wearing the same red and gold robes and I waited there for my Fiance. I believed we were to be married there. The message came from the Guide "It's not him you're going to marry". It was all so confusing. He told me "You know who it is, but they haven't turned up". I instantly knew it was my ex, who took his own life and who I saw at my house that day. Panic rose in me like a flame through a match. I tried to protest...the Guide held me there without touching me..."but I don't want to...I don't trust them", I said.

Running as fast as I could out the church, I found a block of flats. I climbed the outside of the flats, searching in every window for my ex. I had to explain this couldn't happen. 

When I reached the 5th floor of these hideously dirty flats, my intuition told me this was his room. I climbed through the window and he appeared. It all came back to me... how much he hurt me, how much he manipulated me and how much I let him because of the overwhelming love I felt for him. He said "I'm sorry, I'm late". I heard my pathetic self forgive him (again! Grr!) and he told me "You will never love anyone the way you loved me." It devastated me. I knew I would never let anyone treat me as badly as he did and love them as unconditionally as I did him. A bit like my cat, Merlin, who loved me unconditionally, though I didn't deserve it.

The dream ended in joy as I realised we had met to forgive each other and say goodbye. The saddest thing was on the way out of the church when I checked the display cabinet and there still wasn't a photo of me and my Fiance.

A few months later me and my Fiance split up in an unrelated incident and our wedding was cancelled. No-one could have predicted it - except maybe, Merlin.

I can't tell you if the dream was a prediction, guidance from 'above', or just something I needed to get out of my system in order that I could heal. I can tell you that it was one of my most powerful healing experiences I've ever had.

It goes without saying that we must treasure what we've got whilst we've got it. Let the important people (or animals) in our lives know what they mean to us. I know as well as anyone that it can all change in the blink of an eye, leaving you with regrets.

Why not make it your mission this weekend to appreciate all that you have. I'm going to.

Have the best time, everyone and I'll be back to share more of my life with you all very soon.

Merlin doing his favourite past-time - sleeping.

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Keeping The Faith in Times of Trouble

Always the Bridesmaid Never the Bride

Me My House And I

Hello and welcome to the new readers from Switzerland, it's lovely to have you join us all.

Me My House And I

At the tender age of eighteen I left home for Exeter to try and get away from the abuse and fear that resided in Preston. Not long after this I had my only child, after another disastrous relationship broke up following a scary episode in Exeter, which ended with my life being seriously threatened. Another story for another time...

I was lucky enough to have good family, my amazing uncle who rescued me from Exeter and my long-suffering immediate family who welcomed me back with open arms.  All I will say on this subject is - don't mess with scouse families!!!

Photo taken from FinePix

Once I had my baby it was time to start acting like an adult, something that had completely eluded me up until then. They say nothing prepares you for parenthood, well, I say nothing prepares you for life and when life 'happens' you have to embrace it and strive to always do your best no matter what the situation. 

My babys' father was AWOL (this is a blessing, but one of those you can't see at the time) but we were lucky enough to be offered a house by the local Housing Association and one that was on a private road, in a good area, so we were really grateful for that.

With next to no belongings and an understanding family I was able to go and look at the house straight away. I enlisted help to get it into shape before moving in.

I excitedly headed down the path and although I had been warned that the house was in disarray, I didn't care, as it was going to be our home and it represented a new start for us.

As soon as the front door opened I had the most terrible feeling that someone had been hurt and abused in there. I could barely step foot in the place. Domestic violence was thick in the air. You've heard the expression you could cut the air with a knife? Well, you could, yet no-one was there.

Everyone tried to reassure me that the house would clean up and a lick of paint would see it right. It looked so much better after we spent some time sorting it out - weeks actually, as it was in such a state - you wouldn't get away with putting a young family in a house like that these days. 

I was still ill at ease with the house and my baby wouldn't settle at all either. Perhaps he was picking up on my feelings or perhaps he was picking up on the house feeling.

Safe to say I've had nothing but trouble with this house, which I've never been able to move from. Every time I get close to a move (twice I've been let down at exchange of contracts when trying to move), something happens and there is no way that I can move. In addition, relationships, as you know from a previous post were abusive and broke down, so many issues with the building that can't be explained...The kitchen ceiling has collapsed twice with no reason known; we've had the smell of sewage/rot so bad that returns all the time, Environmental Health and Dyno-Rod have been. Experts have been under the house, cameras, dyes, you name it...no explanation and no cure!

One particular time following another freak repair, insurance was involved and the carpet fitter told me he knew two previous families who lived at the house and that they had been cursed whilst living here. He told me that now they've moved they have wonderful lives, but their lives were awful whilst living in this house. I forgot to thank him for his comforting words!

I do believe in taking responsibility for your own life and everything that happens, using The Laws Of Attraction to manifest good around you, but despite my incredibly positive ways, it's fair to say in this house we've been dogged by bad luck.

Enough was enough and I decided to enlist help, contacting a Space-Clearing expert in the area. For those that don't know, space-clearing is the art of clearing away negative energy and imprints in buildings that can cause bad luck/misfortune. This wonderful lady sensed the same as me without being told anything. She used Divining Rods (for dowsing) to source what is wrong and it turns out there's a male spirit (negative entity) plus lots of negative energy left-over from all the bad things that kept happening.

This wonderful lady is coming to do the space-clearing on Saturday and I will let you all know how it goes. I can't wait for the fresh start and the catalyst to moving on to pastures new.

To arrange for space-clearing of your home or business you can contact Jayne here:

http://www.complementary-healthcentre.co.uk/

These are the cards that I drew to advise how the space-clearing will go:

  This is the card for the past representing the need to take back power.

 This card is for the current and represents the need to connect with the Divine. It shows that there is a loved one who has passed who is watching over me. I know who the 'loved one' is as I have had experiences of them here in the house, which I will write about another time. I do not want them around.

 This represents the future and tells that the new space will be a great place for creating spiritual community and helping others, where previously there has been despair.

I'll finish by saying that during my lonelier years in this house, my spirit grew immensely. I was guided greatly by my grandad, who I have learnt so much from and continue to learn from to this day. He and his parents where Spiritualists (in fact my grandad used to be a healer) and it was in my darker days alone in this house that I started to learn about The Occult and to find "my own evidence". I will be posting soon about the Circle (Seance) that my Great Grandparents used to host at their home in Liverpool and the book my Grandad has given me featuring their channeled messages from Spirit. 

We need both good and bad in our lives to create balance and teach us lessons, but with so much 'bad' it is time now for me to embrace the 'good' to re-store balance. I still look forward to the lessons each day brings me. 

Written with gratitude to all those who helped get the house sorted one way or another and those who supported me through my darker days alone in the house. 

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There's No Place Like Home

Over my lifetime I have lived in many different places. It is true that the home is where the heart is, but only if the home has the right people living there. Our family is our first experience of unconditional love and giving, for most it is a source of comfort and reassuring acceptance. Though it has to be said that for others it can be a scary place and one of fear, doubt and abuse. We are not all blessed to have our heart in our home. We are not even all blessed with a home.

We all know that feeling we have, that connection with a special place, but it does not have to be our house, apartment, bungalow…whatever... Lots of people return on holiday to the same place over and again and this is where their heart is, even if only a tiny bit of it.

My earliest memory of home was in Castleview Road, West Derby in Liverpool. This was also my favourite home and you could say there is still a bit of my heart there. I was lucky enough to have my own room and the big room at the back, at that. It was in that room that my first ever spirit encounters occurred.

Every night I would lie in bed peeking out from the safety of my quilt at what looked to be a soldier, maybe of Roman origin. He had a leather pleated skirt, a sword and a shield. He never spoke to me, he just stood still and watched me. He was fierce and serious yet he brought me such peace and comfort that I would just stare back at him. He had a kind of sheen to him and he wasn't fully materialised like you and I. I never understood why he was there or why no-one ever mentioned him, but as he did me no harm, I also never thought to talk about him with others. It kind of felt like a very special secret.

At the age of about four or five, I remember sitting in a part of the room near to where this soldier would stand and sensing other people there. I knew that they weren't here or in our world, but from somewhere else. As I felt elevated by their presence, I would take in all the parts of my room and sense which had ‘good’ ones and which had ‘bad’ ones in it. I would see splashes of bright light around everything and the lights would often change colour. I used to call these “the luminous bones” as it looked like peoples’ and objects’ structures lit up on the outside edge of them. I now believe this to have been auras (the energy field around people and things), but I can no longer see them (since doing reiki this has started to return but very slowly). People would tell me not to be silly whenever I talked about the "luminous bones" and I quickly learnt that it was not something good.

I spent many an hour talking to these presences, telling them about my day and I would feel but not hear their responses.

There were a few occasions that I would feel scared by the ghosts and I told my parents whose response was “There’s no such thing as ghosts”, trying to reassure me, as any parent would. Eventually, two older girls who used to play with me told me it was the shadows of the curtains. I thought they must be right and tried to blank my spirit friends from my mind.

The day came when it was time to move house and I said goodbye to my friends and that sense of calm forever. I will tell you all about my next home and the experiences there in another post, so keep checking back for more.

What I will finish by saying is that anyone can communicate with spirit, it is not a gift as it’s so often referred to, but something we all have. We lose the ability due to a lack of acceptance. The very same acceptance that places your heart firmly at home. It is such a shame that there isn't more acceptance and less fear for this kind of thing. The key is in nurturing our youth and accepting them as they are.

Where is your home and where is your heart? Do you accept and give love truly unconditionally?

P.S. I was telling a very special and dear friend about my Roman soldier the other day and it turns out she too saw this ghost as a child. She did live in the next village (Croxteth) so maybe he was a lost soul doing the rounds?